by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Carefully Hidden Moonbase of Gnomewatchers


Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific



Population22.115 billion


Animalgarden gnome

The Carefully Hidden Moonbase of Gnomewatchers is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Gnomad with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 22.115 billion Gnomes are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gnomeria. The average income tax rate is 71.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Gnomeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,002 trillion crowns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 90,549 crowns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them, the Gnomeian war navy contains an oddly large number of luxury yachts and cruise liners, the government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure, and vile black smog from coal power plants has enveloped several major urban centres. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gnomewatchers's national animal is the garden gnome, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Gnomewatchers is ranked 73,406th in the world and 3,921st in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 1,825.35 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 145thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,626thTop
Most Influential: 2,046thLargest Black Market: 3,481stLargest Populations: 4,239thFattest Citizens: 4,921stHighest Economic Output: 6,223rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 6,807thMost Armed: 6,846thMost Secular: 7,695thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 10,052ndMost Subsidized Industry: 11,958thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13,413thMost Cultured: 14,779thMost Corrupt Governments: 15,418thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15,765thMost Developed: 16,362nd
Largest Populations: 48th in the regionTop
Largest Agricultural Sector: 96th in the regionLargest Black Market: 114th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 117th in the regionFattest Citizens: 158th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 178th in the regionMost Armed: 232nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 257th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 386th in the regionMost Secular: 400th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 473rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 557th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 567th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 622nd in the regionMost Influential: 688th in the regionMost Cultured: 738th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 767th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 844th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Gnomewatchers was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Gnomewatchers, vile black smog from coal power plants has enveloped several major urban centres.
  • : Following new legislation in Gnomewatchers, the government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure.
  • : Following new legislation in Gnomewatchers, the Gnomeian war navy contains an oddly large number of luxury yachts and cruise liners.
  • : Following new legislation in Gnomewatchers, money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them.
  • : Following new legislation in Gnomewatchers, photographers have to apply for a license to photograph Gnomad.
  • : Gnomewatchers voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Sterilisation of Minors etc".
  • : Gnomewatchers was endorsed by The Republic of Goldenis.
  • : Gnomewatchers was endorsed by The Free Land of Interdimensional Zone.
  • : Gnomewatchers was endorsed by The Principality of Sil Dorsett.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 371 » Siwale, Aroa, Great Javadwipa, East Supple Lund, Fizban, Baldova, Antityranicals, Steampunk Ariel, New Flos, Aeolist, The Reorganized Arctic Territories, Minuda, Enworbia, Concordare, San Gavino, Vincone Cae, Newpromisedland, New Caeitanordia, Nordic-British Union, Montarc, Russilina, Vernest Quill, Holy Marcus Empire, Mercandia, Chukstik Illahi, Jasminlandia, Seenvorland, Abiswashyo-bhumi, Marmiedon, Calamazo, LostLegion, Pinguioris, Walter Jackson, Antiyard, Gilakistan, New Hanktopia, Blackphir, El Fiji Grande, Central Ryal, Arimbia, Tellavinna, Bananoonza, Kalatona, Unsophisticate, Alunya, Pallaith, Eteles, The Sinclarian Provinces, Serendipita Martia, United States of Americanas, and 321 others.Runeda, The Rhein States, Sunaiya, Contani, Manticore utopia, The Tampa Bay Rays, Aezus, Detrivania, Phoronu, Warsaw-Halicz, VietAnhland, Quentiam Viventem, Moisus, The Discipled, The Seven Shed Skins, Delmak, Orado, Preble, Omnistria, Aetulia, 5 kingdoms of Britannia, Pasargad, Solskjar, SORT, Babacar, Tianqing, Partax, Tamgu, Wilkshire, Malta Comino Gozo, Dicko, The Derpercratic Empire of Derpiness, Wimborne, Dopeland420, Sunto, Dar es Saalam, Pollos Othe, United States of Medford, Penrith, Kenatara, Great Bights Mum, Necromonia, Centromuria, The Austro Germanic Union, Viridiann, PembrokeLand, Sundred, The Lucky but Unfortunate Wanderers, Corfad, Gooood Tiiimes, BrightFutures, Northern Glory, McMasterdonia, Free Culture, Ethnon, Koda-Land, Tarr-Nation, Trillius, Lordelles, New Octicarg, Zupla, Styrica, JAOECW536, Moose repupblic, Wisconsota, Lemonbiscuits, Advancia-Sizzletown, Dreadton, Habanan, Notyoutopia, The Iron Lions, Glurponia, Yaorozu, The Nation that will win Soops for 9003, Kubrostavsria, The Real Ram Ranch, Empy, Holy Alexandrian Empire, Tachycardia, Panama Coalition, Potestasia, The Windmilluminati, Guer Aike, Ataraxia Somnia, Pleroma Sans Romans, Kristalmaan, The Most Freedom Ever, Shibutani, Sockmanland, The Bureaucratic Territories, Idumetala, British Pacific Islands, Illichiana, Amauri, Kasazzastan, Duerrlewang, Solmetria, Old Emporia, Dylanana, Republic of Turbin, Wooleystan, Scouria, Kromi, Conservative State of Poland, Cors Evia, Planes, 1 very fast endotarter, The O C, Banabistan, Ostrolia, 2 and 2 is Fish, Angwayster, Oolah kooshie, Ikea Rike, Humptalumpta, Kelvaros Prime, Hatakulamatakatak, Virillum, Azzarel, Magorostan, Heken, Shadowrik, Daiz, Fel Imass, David Davidson, North Bratislava, Clan Spaniel, Anna Airters, Karazan, Loutsland, Lorigia, North Armatas, Catopia2, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Ice and Tinian, Cuyan, Calsolato, Potatolandium, Heminaw, Ausveria, Prydania, Union of the Oriental States, Constantinolia, Valhalla123, New Avian, Racoda, Alusten, Ilisseia, Gondigams, New Pruessen, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Lazadonil, Abject Ludicrosity, Breduria, Federation Terra Australis, Nguvu na Kiburi, Yugobatania, New Lakemba, Zumlandia, Choistan, U S Eh, Elder Realms, ZimRobwe, The Empire of the Clarence, Vexilia, Illderia, Island States of Skelldia, Lesbian Femdom, Moubarakistan, Soviet Terran, Sea Ghost, Moanapo, Iceland People, Indiana Hoosier nation, Fascist Democracy, Axstahl, Makersaulache, Elgaland-Vargaland, Diodone, Miamington, Yewbow, The AP Republic, Brettenia, Landnovia, Kulgatha, Phualand, The New Enclave Of The Wasteland, Lendara, Venezuelia, Palenhold, Aratani, Independent Halls, Freyford, Revolutionary Sealand, Helix Labs, Kingdom Of Manaf, The Brunchovian Republic of Pina Colada, New Austra, Wineclaw, The Stratosphere Islands, Joodey, New Phyrreus, PlanetPunk, Cloydicia, Hospitallar Hydrus, Selfgradatude, Saturns Edge, Spartoptia, Fredericksborg, Leonfire, Orenmark, Kwaj, Esplandia, Tmth, Territorio di Nessuno, The Gamer Party, Dadastan Archipelago, Saint Alaric, Ivy Rekkia, United Kahndaq, United Draconia, Bonjoura, The Union of Workers Councils, Get Away From Me, Keelut, Saint-Elena, Tsandonown, East Wushen, New Bremerton, Odrinia, Avemterra, Holy Oranz, Altamonte, The Serdey Islands, Analomink, Amerian States, Slytheria Reformed, Neworva, McDonaldsland, I Anixi, Avenged Sevenfoldia, NabMex, Unprintable Initiator, The Galactic Triumvirate, Jefffliu, Marxist Luxembourg, Ozstan, Frances Francis the First of France, Zokk, Prevaland, Willifusland, Xentherida, Nothru Lerple, Spunkland, Lunallian, Neo Hungarica, PotatoFarmers, Pheonisland, Angshire, Malabor Tor, Xzavia-Hjar, Ponantine, Great and Glorious Martese Unionins, Miruma, Changjo, Ieprus, Kranostav, United Asgardian States, Loli County, Holy Isekai, Castle Federation, Battesaia, Kappacon, Federalania, Earth Commonwealth, Nueva Guerrera, Zecit, Tejasia, Equinoctial States, Seawood, Braghz, Siau, New Holloway, Yukti, Germanic Araya, Palisede, Frenchist, Pazair, Phoeba, Arquan, Koryohan, Black Templares, Dabarastan, United Anglo-America, Fupiju, Eraver, Czechochechnyoslovenovakia, Ihese, Florantia, JJs nation, Wallachian People, Bruhbronistan, The Kingdom and Realm of Anubis, Seamless India, TJUN-ia, Rumagna, Afcon, United Indonesian, Kohasikstan, United Western Federation, Zyvetskistaahn, Parmovand, Velon, Volenruud, Maott, Eravonia, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Ravendi, Sil Dorsett, Interdimensional Zone, and Goldenis.

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