by Max Barry

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The Holy Theocracy of Goatentah

“In goat we trust” Roberte Boberte Robertson

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: The North Pacific



Population4.177 billion

LeaderRoberte Boberte Robertson


The Holy Theocracy of Goatentah is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Roberte Boberte Robertson with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, fear of technology, and pith helmet sales. The devout population of 4.177 billion Goatentahians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 73.3%.

The powerhouse Goatentahian economy, worth 358 trillion goats a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 85,836 goats, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

It turns out that money can buy you happiness, the nation's green cities are indeed concrete jungles, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, and politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goatentah's national animal is the goat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Goatintisam.

Goatentah is ranked 135,109th in the world and 7,416th in The North Pacific for Most Extreme, scoring 10.34 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Most Devout: 1,763rdMost Influential: 3,174thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,928thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,911thMost Advanced Public Transport: 10,755thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,023rdLargest Welfare Programs: 13,331stBest Weather: 13,732ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 15,828th
Most Devout: 75th in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 338th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 417th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 433rd in the regionTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 585th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 626th in the regionBest Weather: 762nd in the region

National Happenings

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