by Max Barry

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The Holy Theocracy of Goatentah

“In goat we trust” Roberte Boberte Robertson

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: The North Pacific



Population4.532 billion

LeaderRoberte Boberte Robertson


The Holy Theocracy of Goatentah is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Roberte Boberte Robertson with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, devout population of 4.532 billion Goatentahians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 73.9%.

The powerhouse Goatentahian economy, worth 427 trillion goats a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 94,367 goats, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, the horniness of the great-horned goat is considered a national priority, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, and children are terrified that the 'flying police monster' will come to take them away in the night. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goatentah's national animal is the goat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Goatintisam.

Goatentah is ranked 18,342nd in the world and 783rd in The North Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 3,281.95 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Most Devout: 1,536thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,930thMost Influential: 3,767thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,454thBest Weather: 10,883rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,780thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,287thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13,746thLowest Crime Rates: 14,729thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 15,033rdMost Inclusive: 15,084thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 15,787thMost Beautiful Environments: 16,705thMost Advanced Public Education: 16,910th
Most Devout: 65th in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 363rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 456th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 495th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 515th in the regionBest Weather: 611th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 718th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 783rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 784th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 820th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 866th in the regionMost Inclusive: 868th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 871st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 893rd in the regionLargest Populations: 944th in the region

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