The Soggy Islands of Goldnation is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Bob Loblaw with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful population of 4.756 billion Goldies have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Belleville. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Goldnationian economy, worth 743 trillion bullions a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 156,248 bullions, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The richest individuals apparently buy nothing but noodles and toilet paper, the government has declared its commitment to multilateralism, holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects, and beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goldnation's national animal is the mongoose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Goldnation is ranked 300,254^th in the world and 4,860^th in the South Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring -8.37 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.