The Colony of Good United States of America is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Charles Edward Cheese with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 1.766 billion Good United States of Americans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Doggo Town. The average income tax rate is 55.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Good United States of American economy, worth 125 trillion Butt Sniffs a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Soda Sales. Average income is 70,783 Butt Sniffs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teenage girls worry that they'll be unpopular if their skirts aren't short enough, town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists, Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room, and droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Good United States of America's national animal is the Dirty Hippie, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Good United States of America is ranked 156,076^th in the world and 6,208^th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 9.54 Obesity Rate.