by Max Barry

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The Federation of Gorvania

“Boh, Bat'kivshchyna i Svoboda”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Below Average

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Nazi Europa

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Gorvania

Population12.227 billion

CapitalAnzhelypol
LeaderYuriy Yaroshenko
FaithChristian Orthodox

Currencyhrovodnia
Animalpig

The Federation of Gorvania is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Yuriy Yaroshenko with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, ubiquitous missile silos, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 12.227 billion Gorvans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anzhelypol. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Gorvanian economy, worth a remarkable 8,358 trillion hrovodnias a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 683,618 hrovodnias, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,355,932 per year while the poor average 6,751, a ratio of 941 to 1.

Love means always having to say you're sorry, some magnifier-wielding Gorvans say Yuriy Yaroshenko seems a little lacking in something, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi, and the "Dreadnowt" is the pride and joy of the Gorvanian Navy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gorvania's national animal is the pig, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christian Orthodox.

Gorvania is ranked 270th in the world and 1st in Nazi Europa for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 13,980.86 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 21stLargest Retail Industry: 36thMost Efficient Economies: 83rdHighest Average Incomes: 87thRudest Citizens: 104thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 111thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 118thMost Subsidized Industry: 135thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 142ndMost Corrupt Governments: 143rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 147thLargest Insurance Industry: 148thFattest Citizens: 161stLargest Mining Sector: 193rdMost Avoided: 195thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 228thLargest Information Technology Sector: 269thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 270thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 270thLargest Black Market: 273rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 281stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 288thMost Scientifically Advanced: 316thLargest Agricultural Sector: 318thHighest Economic Output: 690thLargest Governments: 797thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 868thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 939thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,035thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,111thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,178thLowest Crime Rates: 1,185thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,250thMost Devout: 1,320thSmartest Citizens: 1,421stMost Pro-Market: 1,746thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,794thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,947thTop
5%
Most Armed: 2,768thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,061stMost Valuable International Artwork: 11,220thTop
10%
Most Cultured: 12,751stMost Influential: 15,198thMost Stationary: 18,288thLargest Populations: 21,483rd
Top
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 4th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 5th in the regionMost Devout: 5th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 5th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, the "Dreadnowt" is the pride and joy of the Gorvanian Navy.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, some magnifier-wielding Gorvans say Yuriy Yaroshenko seems a little lacking in something.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, love means always having to say you're sorry.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, blocked storm drains cause sanitation problems.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, bar brawls are an hourly occurrence.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, environmental protestors are being rounded up and taken away in sinister black vans as a massive land development campaign gets underway.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, Tesco was recently named as the new national treasurer.
  • : Following new legislation in Gorvania, Yuriy Yaroshenko's iHouse is so intelligent that it manages its own social media accounts.

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