by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Republic of Grande Gaule

“Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité”

Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Nipper

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Grande Gaule

Population7.366 billion

CapitalParis
LeaderPresident Émile Magnier
Faithsecularism

CurrencyFrench franc
AnimalGallic rooster

The Republic of Grande Gaule is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Émile Magnier with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, otherworldly petting zoo, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 7.366 billion Frenchmen are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Paris. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 91.1%.

The frighteningly efficient French economy, worth a remarkable 1,987 trillion French francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 269,810 French francs, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,450,991 per year while the poor average 26,130, a ratio of 55.5 to 1.

A cyber-war between file sharers and the music industry formats hard drives across the country, charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses, the nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories', and a recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Grande Gaule's national animal is the Gallic rooster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is secularism.

Grande Gaule is ranked 61,406th in the world and 943rd in The North Pacific for Most Stationary, with 756.45958531 days.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 1,169thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,384thMost Patriotic: 2,251stMost Efficient Economies: 2,312thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,624thTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 2,986thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,182ndMost Cultured: 3,556thHealthiest Citizens: 3,567thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,820thLargest Governments: 4,003rdMost Developed: 4,052ndHighest Average Incomes: 4,112thSmartest Citizens: 4,116thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,228thHighest Food Quality: 4,280thLargest Retail Industry: 4,288thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,430thLowest Crime Rates: 4,551stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,242ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,778thLargest Information Technology Sector: 6,428thLargest Welfare Programs: 7,595thSafest: 8,495thMost Inclusive: 9,202ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 9,439thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,464thNicest Citizens: 10,167thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 11,308thMost Compassionate Citizens: 11,583rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11,940thHighest Economic Output: 12,419thMost Advanced Public Education: 12,506thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 12,569thTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 15,064thMost Beautiful Environments: 15,877thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 18,287thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 23,311thMost Pro-Market: 28,458thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 28,707th
Top
1%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 33rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 50th in the regionMost Patriotic: 68th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 74th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 100th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 109th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 147th in the regionMost Cultured: 151st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 153rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 154th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 168th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 182nd in the regionLargest Governments: 187th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 201st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 204th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 206th in the regionMost Developed: 208th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 222nd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 229th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 234th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 239th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 249th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 256th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 271st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 281st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 283rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 303rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 315th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 322nd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 374th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 406th in the regionSafest: 433rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 468th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 498th in the regionNicest Citizens: 514th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 569th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 593rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, a recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, the nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories'.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, a cyber-war between file sharers and the music industry formats hard drives across the country.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, pop sensation "Jack and the Holograms" is storming the charts.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, fur coats have become the latest fashion trend.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, a flying elephant and President Émile Magnier share the same nickname.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, French husbands are dead good at fathering kids.
  • : Following new legislation in Grande Gaule, the only soporific permitted during sermons is the preacher's voice.

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