by Max Barry

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The Great Scientific Polity of Greater Cuba

“We Don't Get Mad, We Get Stabby”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: USSR

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Greater Cuba

Population30.935 billion

CapitalNueva Havana
LeaderChe Castro

CurrencyRouble
Animaldik dik

The Great Scientific Polity of Greater Cuba is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Che Castro with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 30.935 billion Cubans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nueva Havana. The income tax rate is 100%.

The all-consuming Greater Cuban economy, worth a remarkable 8,418 trillion Roubles a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 272,131 Roubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, the recital of citations that follows any political speech can be longer than the speech itself, arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct, and more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Greater Cuba's national animal is the dik dik, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Greater Cuba is ranked 948th in the world and 4th in USSR for Smartest Citizens, with 226.91 Quips Per Hour.

Top
1%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 5thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9thLargest Welfare Programs: 23rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 39thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 46thLargest Governments: 104thHighest Average Tax Rates: 113thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 171stSafest: 194thMost Advanced Public Education: 197thMost Beautiful Environments: 212thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 233rdMost Pacifist: 246thLowest Crime Rates: 332ndMost Subsidized Industry: 380thBest Weather: 497thMost Influential: 591stHighest Economic Output: 654thLongest Average Lifespans: 702ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 798thHighest Poor Incomes: 849thSmartest Citizens: 948thMost Stationary: 1,209thHealthiest Citizens: 1,473rdLargest Populations: 1,966thNicest Citizens: 2,008thMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,014thTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 2,671stMost Cultured: 2,681stMost Inclusive: 2,688thMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,700thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3,136thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,216thLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,500thMost Developed: 7,857thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8,829thTop
10%
Most Secular: 14,755thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,081stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 19,428thMost Income Equality: 20,137thMost Politically Free: 21,434th
Top
5%
Highest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Free: 2nd in the regionSafest: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Stationary: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 4th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 4th in the regionLargest Populations: 5th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 7th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 7th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Greater Cuba voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Reducing Disease Vectors".
  • : Greater Cuba voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Kuriko".
  • : Greater Cuba voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "World Assembly Trade Rights"".
  • : Greater Cuba voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Condemn Raionitu".
  • : Greater Cuba voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Ban on Sterilisation of Minors etc"".
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Cuba, more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Cuba, arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Cuba, the recital of citations that follows any political speech can be longer than the speech itself.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Cuba, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Cuba, no personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police.

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