by Max Barry

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National Flag

The United States of Greater Somalia

“For my clan”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excessive

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: The East Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Greater Somalia

Population34.702 billion

CapitalMogadishu
LeaderMareexaan
Faithnone

CurrencyShilling
Animallion

The United States of Greater Somalia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Mareexaan with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 34.702 billion Somalis are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The relatively small, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mogadishu. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Somali economy, worth an astonishing 17,950 trillion Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is a breathtaking 517,274 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', Greater Somalia's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region, couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten, and people seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. Crime is totally unknown. Greater Somalia's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is none.

Greater Somalia is ranked 203,397th in the world and 8,324th in The East Pacific for Most Pro-Market, scoring -97.22 on the Rand Index.

Top
1%
Smartest Citizens: 15thLargest Publishing Industry: 26thHighest Poor Incomes: 26thMost Cultured: 29thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 49thMost Rebellious Youth: 73rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 79thLargest Information Technology Sector: 80thLeast Corrupt Governments: 86thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 90thSafest: 94thHighest Economic Output: 95thMost Secular: 110thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 173rdMost Pacifist: 191stMost Efficient Economies: 212thMost Developed: 237thMost Inclusive: 238thMost Beautiful Environments: 245thHighest Average Incomes: 250thLongest Average Lifespans: 270thLargest Governments: 333rdMost Stationary: 360thHealthiest Citizens: 427thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 437thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 692ndLowest Crime Rates: 702ndMost Advanced Public Education: 823rdLargest Populations: 934thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,130thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,573rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,682ndTop
5%
Most Subsidized Industry: 2,396thMost Income Equality: 2,417thLargest Retail Industry: 3,236thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,569thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,905thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,450thTop
10%
Largest Welfare Programs: 10,825thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,029thMost Influential: 11,504thMost Politically Free: 13,454thMost Extreme: 18,661stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20,093rd
Top
1%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 2nd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Stationary: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3rd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Developed: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 5th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 5th in the regionMost Pacifist: 5th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 6th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 7th in the regionMost Inclusive: 9th in the regionLargest Populations: 9th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 13th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 14th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 21st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 36th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 36th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 38th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 63rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 68th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 81st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 91st in the regionMost Income Equality: 147th in the regionMost Politically Free: 148th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 149th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 292nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 298th in the regionTop
10%
Nudest: 495th in the regionMost Extreme: 524th in the regionMost Influential: 556th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 629th in the regionRudest Citizens: 734th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 838th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, people seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, Greater Somalia's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles'.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, Mogadishu spends billions upgrading public transport.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, sniffer dogs check train passengers for body odour.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, the nation's most popular sport is sabotaging foreigners' hopes and dreams.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Somali officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, invasive species are hunted by the gendarmerie.

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