The United States of Guccistan is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Mydina with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, devout population of 5.704 billion Guccistanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nenon. The average income tax rate is 86.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Guccistanian economy, worth 866 trillion Emers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 151,889 Emers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Weighted heels are added to military boots to ensure diminutive celebrities meet minimum requirements, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, military pilots spend more time scraping feathers off their engines than flying their aircraft, and travelers often bring empty plastic bottles on Air Guccistan flights to avoid the pay lavatories. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Guccistan's national animal is the Pugg, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Nenonism.

Guccistan is ranked 5,472^nd in the world and 318^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 114.3 law-abiding acts per hour.