by Max Barry

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The Queendom of Guila Naquitz

“Bless the Light for our Queen”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Nipper

Location: The North Pacific


Guila Naquitz

Population8.048 billion

LeaderQueen Petlatl

Animalresplendent quetzal

The Queendom of Guila Naquitz is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Queen Petlatl with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, otherworldly petting zoo, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 8.048 billion Guila Naquitzians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cucurbita. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Guila Naquitzian economy, worth a remarkable 2,452 trillion haels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 304,744 haels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students, students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework, and posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Guila Naquitz's national animal is the resplendent quetzal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sheutism.

Guila Naquitz is ranked 16,382nd in the world and 1,666th in The North Pacific for Most Influential, scoring 2,505 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.

Nicest Citizens: 247thMost Compassionate Citizens: 262ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 301stMost Inclusive: 338thMost Pacifist: 441stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 507thMost Cultured: 527thMost Efficient Economies: 584thMost Devout: 656thLargest Agricultural Sector: 656thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 664thMost Developed: 667thLowest Crime Rates: 667thHighest Poor Incomes: 728thLargest Governments: 753rdSmartest Citizens: 763rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 763rdLongest Average Lifespans: 764thLargest Welfare Programs: 888thHealthiest Citizens: 1,039thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,066thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,201stMost Subsidized Industry: 1,231stMost Beautiful Environments: 1,307thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,331stHighest Drug Use: 1,358thSafest: 1,376thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,504thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,733rdHighest Average Incomes: 1,887thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,898thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,909thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,951stTop
Largest Information Technology Sector: 2,664thBest Weather: 2,738thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,671stLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,671stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,231stHighest Economic Output: 5,821stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5,993rdNudest: 9,103rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,864thTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 11,577thMost Stationary: 11,856thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 13,267thLargest Retail Industry: 15,665thMost Influential: 16,382ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18,045th
Highest Drug Use: 13th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 16th in the regionNicest Citizens: 18th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 19th in the regionMost Cultured: 20th in the regionMost Inclusive: 21st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 22nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 23rd in the regionMost Pacifist: 29th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 29th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 33rd in the regionMost Devout: 34th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 36th in the regionMost Developed: 37th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 37th in the regionLargest Governments: 39th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 41st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 41st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 44th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 44th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 45th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 52nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 54th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 64th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 64th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 68th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 73rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 81st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 85th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 85th in the regionSafest: 87th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 89th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 94th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 99th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 136th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 159th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 170th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 171st in the regionBest Weather: 174th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 239th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 249th in the regionMost Stationary: 264th in the regionNudest: 337th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 434th in the regionTop
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 567th in the regionLargest Populations: 638th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 735th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 741st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 890th in the regionMost Politically Free: 896th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Guila Naquitz, posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables.
  • : Guila Naquitz was reclassified from "Civil Rights Lovefest" to "Left-wing Utopia".
  • : Following new legislation in Guila Naquitz, students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework.
  • : Following new legislation in Guila Naquitz, schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students.
  • : Following new legislation in Guila Naquitz, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government.
  • : Following new legislation in Guila Naquitz, many marriages go virtually unconsummated.
  • : Following new legislation in Guila Naquitz, prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present.
  • : Following new legislation in Guila Naquitz, the government loves seeing the little people fight.
  • : Guila Naquitz was reclassified from "Left-wing Utopia" to "Civil Rights Lovefest".
  • : Following new legislation in Guila Naquitz, 4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days'.


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