by Max Barry

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The Loli Union Federal Republic of Ham Federation

“B-Baka!!” Loli Supreme Leader Princess Adeline

Category: Mother Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Ham Federation

Population1.621 billion

CapitalMetrololi
LeaderLoli Supreme Leader Princess Adeline
FaithLolism

CurrencyDoll Hair
AnimalHindslavic Pig

The Loli Union Federal Republic of Ham Federation is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Loli Supreme Leader Princess Adeline with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.621 billion Lolis are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Metrololi. The average income tax rate is 51.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Loli economy, worth 197 trillion Doll Hairs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 122,067 Doll Hairs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Loli husbands are dead good at fathering kids, there is something rotten in the state of Ham Federation, motivational posters send motorists positive vibes in high-risk areas, and teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ham Federation's national animal is the Hindslavic Pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lolism.

Ham Federation is ranked 57,711th in the world and 3,048th in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 2,370.92 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 601stMost Influential: 1,082ndTop
5%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 1,954thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,967thTop
10%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 9,680thMost Developed: 15,592nd
Top
5%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 87th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 230th in the regionTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 419th in the regionMost Influential: 422nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 474th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 731st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 199 » Ethnon, Empy, Territorio di Nessuno, Shibutani, Frances Francis the First of France, Cloydicia, Yaorozu, Govornia, Kuveria, Omnistria, Minuda, Kwaj, Notyoutopia, Waupun Island, The Austro Germanic Union, Corfad, The Rhein States, Sinelona, Renzic, Rwekazaland, Siwale, El Fiji Grande, Diodone, Shin-Hachioji, Pallaith, Federation Terra Australis, Great Bights Mum, Malta Comino Gozo, Joodey, Longsword01, Spartoptia, Ninjak30, Napnomadia, Lunallian, Outer Egorniand, Kasazzastan, Bearical, East Supple Lund, Koda-Land, Unsophisticate, General COE, Steraz, United States of Americanas, Sundred, United Draconia, Dreadton, Kulgatha, Shadowrik, Black Templares, Eri-Maqa-Ena, and 149 others.Vincone Cae, Holy Oranz, The Windmilluminati, New Pruessen, Wineclaw, PlanetPunk, Pasargad, Selfgradatude, Antiyard, Kalimora Aire, Buckerino, Wilkshire, Guer Aike, North Bratislava, Dar es Saalam, Amauri, The Pantheons, Kobagia, Potatolandium, New Bremerton, Universal State Formula, Alunya, Moubarakistan, Ainsworth, Panama Coalition, New Trisone, Ozstan, Sunto, Sheldanada, The Sinclarian Provinces, Atain, Ieprus, Sil Dorsett, Union of Austria-Hungary, Partax, Cinnibar, Asgardira, Niradans, The Iron Lions, Q w e r t y, Votak Matim, Egalico, Solmetria, Torakuen, Warsaw-Halicz, Maott, Jasminlandia, Bananaaaaa, Guslantis, Fayyayid, Axstahl, Acrabinnia, Ibiscaton, Saturns Edge, Zemnaya Svoboda, Misuvelia, Orven, Steampunk Ariel, Plangainer, Sea Ghost, Trillius, Marijuana Haven, Haor Chall, Yugobatania, Unimaginable Doom, Astronomical, Rydeum, Ejhsa, Valhalla123, Rkainjel, Victoriaans Nederlands, Lomjia, Aratani, Nakayo, 1 very fast endotarter, Yummy Blubber, Babacar, Ikea Rike, Free Azzaca, Legendsland, British Pacific Islands, Loutsland, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Republic of New Atlantis, Noahs Second Country, Former English Colony, Test for a new hope, GRANDE IMPERIO ORIENTAL PAGAO EUDUARDO, Hileville, Antityranicals, Elder Realms, Constantinolia, Xentherida, Makersaulache, Glurponia, Abject Ludicrosity, Zumlandia, Xzavia-Hjar, Planes, Sockmanland, United Non-Southern American Empire, Utopicican, Great Javadwipa, Runeda, Cuyan, Daiz, Seenvorland, Concordare, The Tampa Bay Rays, Lindsaystan, Zeternia, New Octicarg, Wisconsota, New Flos, Juggernautilus, Lanterkint, Duerrlewang, Grimandia, Dicko, Orado, Tamgu, Quebekistand, McMasterdonia, Frie Annium, Miruma, The Stratosphere Islands, Delmak, Ponantine, Styrica, Great Robertia, Racoda, Tellavinna, The Nation that will win Soops for 9003, Gnomewatchers, Potestasia, Kaschovia, United Baltics, Eteles, Francois Isidore, Avenged Sevenfoldia, Darcania, Gorundu, Altamonte, Nothru Lerple, Serendipita Martia, PotatoFarmers, Clan Spaniel, Angshire, and United Kahndaq.

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