The Federal Republic of Hamburg Neo is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Friedrich Kaiser with a fair hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, complete lack of prisons, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 9.898 billion Hamburg Neoans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hamburg Neo. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Hamburg Neoan economy, worth a remarkable 3,077 trillion Euros a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 310,935 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kids these days know how to throw a proper punch, the nation's gigantic air force is both respected and feared, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', and the voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning. Crime is totally unknown. Hamburg Neo's national animal is the Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Hamburg Neo is ranked 254,001^st in the world and 2,998^th in the West Pacific for Most Authoritarian, with 340.83 milliStalins.