The Federation of Hawkinss is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Mrballsdangle with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.809 billion Hawkinssians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Hawkins. The average income tax rate is 90.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Hawkinssian economy, worth 408 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 145,519 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

The nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts, cooking with water and baking soda is considered patent infringement, metal detectors have been banned after a bottle cap caused a riot at the beach, and children are expected to carve their own toys. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hawkinss's national animal is the leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Hawkinss is ranked 77,682^nd in the world and 215^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 3,846.57 on the Hickory Productivity Index.