by Max Barry

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The Republic of Hayes and Harlington

“They will cost... it will cost... about...”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Hatchling

Location: Lazarus


Hayes and Harlington

Population6.202 billion


CurrencyBristol Pound

The Republic of Hayes and Harlington is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its parental licensing program, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical population of 6.202 billion Hayes and Harlingtonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Londonderry. The average income tax rate is 81.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Hayes and Harlingtonian economy, worth 406 trillion Bristol Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, extremely specialized black market in Trout Farming and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 65,588 Bristol Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Families consisting of more than three people are forced to split up, you're only as old as you feel, high school bands practice by moonlight, and captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hayes and Harlington's national animal is the Weasel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is self-hatred.

Hayes and Harlington is ranked 196,913th in the world and 6,964th in Lazarus for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -11.22 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Best Weather: 5,295thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,447thMost Ignorant Citizens: 6,149thMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,712thMost Pacifist: 7,910thLargest Black Market: 8,193rdTop
Most Secular: 10,629thMost Compassionate Citizens: 11,010thNicest Citizens: 11,421stMost Beautiful Environments: 11,532ndMost Advanced Public Education: 12,142ndMost Conservative: 12,210thMost Authoritarian: 12,806thHighest Average Tax Rates: 13,168thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 14,391stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 15,200thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,160thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 17,858thLargest Welfare Programs: 19,490thHealthiest Citizens: 20,222ndLongest Average Lifespans: 20,549thMost Corrupt Governments: 20,638thMost Subsidized Industry: 20,665th
Most Ignorant Citizens: 244th in the regionBest Weather: 275th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 313th in the regionTop
Most Pacifist: 398th in the regionMost Conservative: 411th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 426th in the regionLargest Black Market: 459th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 483rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 551st in the regionMost Secular: 563rd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 576th in the regionNicest Citizens: 577th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 669th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 688th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: