The Thirteen Zombie Hells of HC Eredivisie is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Richard with an iron fist, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, aversion to nipples, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 43.892 billion HC Eredivisieans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Healthcare are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of A little village up the coast. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient HC Eredivisiean economy, worth an astonishing 48,916 trillion Fwooshes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 1,114,469 Fwooshes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

A citizen who thinks a slave is a deadbeat is entitled to make the descriptor literally true, explosive diarrhoea is not just a colorful phrase, postcards from HC Eredivisiean driving test centres are popular souvenirs, and the nation has been sent to bed early for unspecified naughtiness. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. HC Eredivisie's national animal is the Hctib Elttil, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Max Barryism.

HC Eredivisie is ranked 21,678^th in the world and 22^nd in belgium for Smartest Citizens, with 60.2 quips per hour.