by Max Barry

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National Flag

The United Republic of Heisenbee

“Ego? Ego sum monumentum omnibus peccatis vestris.”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Handshaker

Location: New Western Empire



Population16.201 billion

LeaderJohn Adama


The United Republic of Heisenbee is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by John Adama with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, unlimited-speed roads, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 16.201 billion Heiseans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caldera. The average income tax rate is 74.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Heisean economy, worth a remarkable 5,857 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 361,566 Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture, politicians look weirdly alike, wealthy pranksters dump refuse on unsuspecting citizens from up high, and the Heisean delegation to the World Assembly is having a hard time convincing people that international law will "pay for itself somehow...". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Heisenbee's national animal is the Hobbie, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Heisianity.

Heisenbee is ranked 242,289th in the world and 136th in New Western Empire for Most Inclusive, scoring 7.24 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.

Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 229thLargest Black Market: 412thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 791stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 826thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,058thLargest Mining Sector: 1,170thHighest Average Incomes: 1,211thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,497thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,637thHighest Economic Output: 1,705thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,800thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,800thMost Patriotic: 2,352ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,415thMost Efficient Economies: 2,444thTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 2,462ndMost Corrupt Governments: 2,527thMost Influential: 2,734thFattest Citizens: 3,167thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,312thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,976thMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,009thLowest Crime Rates: 5,153rdLargest Insurance Industry: 5,623rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,765thMost Secular: 5,910thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,046thLargest Governments: 6,133rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 7,184thLargest Retail Industry: 7,231stRudest Citizens: 8,854thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,465thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,577thMost Developed: 9,780thSmartest Citizens: 10,543rdTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,004thLongest Average Lifespans: 14,629thLargest Populations: 15,801stMost Advanced Public Education: 17,461stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 18,107thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 20,588thHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,750thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 21,376thLargest Gambling Industry: 21,749thLargest Publishing Industry: 23,465th
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 6th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Populations: 7th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 7th in the regionTop
Largest Insurance Industry: 8th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 8th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 8th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 10th in the regionMost Patriotic: 10th in the regionMost Influential: 11th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 13th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 13th in the regionMost Secular: 13th in the regionFattest Citizens: 14th in the region

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