The Commonwealth of Hellsinky is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.285 billion Hellsinkyians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Healthcare, with Education, Welfare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 52.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Hellsinkyian economy, worth 164 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Trout Farming, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 72,117 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hellsinky has designated Hellsinky City as its capital city, a recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father, serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk, and teenagers sit around on their butts all day. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hellsinky's national animal is the quokka, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Hellsinky is ranked 29,776^th in the world and 1,428^th in The North Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 48.67 quips per hour.