by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Eurovision Song Contest of Helsinki 2007

“Homeland”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Strong
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Free Thought

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Helsinki 2007

Population5.949 billion

CapitalHelsinki
LeaderHanna Pakarinen
FaithEurovision

CurrencyEuro
AnimalBrown Bear

The Eurovision Song Contest of Helsinki 2007 is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Hanna Pakarinen with an even hand, and renowned for its suspicion of poets and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working population of 5.949 billion Helsinki 2007ians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Helsinki. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.1%.

The strong Helsinki 2007ian economy, worth 311 trillion Euros a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is 52,285 Euros, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 284,384 per year while the poor average 4,942, a ratio of 57.5 to 1.

The logging industry is celebrating as tourists plaster Helsinki 2007 with trees, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card, the inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only, and retired racing Brown Bears are served truffles for breakfast. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Helsinki 2007's national animal is the Brown Bear and its national religion is Eurovision.

Helsinki 2007 is ranked 325,847th in the world and 10th in Free Thought for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 316.19 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

Top
5%
Largest Gambling Industry: 13,326thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 15,334thTop
10%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 17,318thMost Primitive: 20,261stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 23,225thMost Pro-Market: 26,484thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 29,704thHighest Crime Rates: 31,500th
Top
10%
Largest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Helsinki 2007's influence in Free Thought rose from "Page" to "Squire".
  • : Helsinki 2007's influence in Free Thought rose from "Shoeshiner" to "Page".
  • : Helsinki 2007 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Crime Rates.
  • : Helsinki 2007 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.
  • : Helsinki 2007 changed its national faith to "Eurovision" and its leader to "Hanna Pakarinen".
  • : Following new legislation in Helsinki 2007, retired racing Brown Bears are served truffles for breakfast.
  • : Following new legislation in Helsinki 2007, the inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only.
  • : Following new legislation in Helsinki 2007, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card.
  • : Following new legislation in Helsinki 2007, the logging industry is celebrating as tourists plaster Helsinki 2007 with trees.
  • : Following new legislation in Helsinki 2007, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past.

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