by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Ancient Kingdom of Herakklion

“Ever to excel!”

Category: Authoritarian Democracy
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Truckler

Location: Novo Brasil

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Herakklion

Population1.761 billion

CapitalAglaea
LeaderQueen Cassandra III
FaithPantarism

Currencythyke
AnimalOwl

The Ancient Kingdom of Herakklion is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Queen Cassandra III with an even hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, strictly enforced bedtime, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 1.761 billion heraks are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aglaea. The average income tax rate is 8.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Herakklionian economy, worth 569 trillion thykes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 323,227 thykes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The banshee wail foretells skies of death, Dogman-branded weapons are all the rage in the militaristic comic-book community, the state subsidizes liposuction, and theatre audiences often need a telescope to see the stage. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Herakklion's national animal is the Owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pantarism.

Herakklion is ranked 147,146th in the world and 42nd in Novo Brasil for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -9.49 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Highest Poor Incomes: 433rdMost Armed: 502ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 633rdLargest Retail Industry: 799thMost Scientifically Advanced: 808thLargest Insurance Industry: 828thFattest Citizens: 900thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 950thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,014thHighest Crime Rates: 1,162ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,186thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,194thHighest Average Incomes: 1,239thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,291stTop
5%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 1,628thMost Avoided: 1,869thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,212thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,249thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,383rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,497thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,797thSmartest Citizens: 3,136thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,139thLargest Mining Sector: 3,290thRudest Citizens: 3,437thLargest Black Market: 3,724thLargest Publishing Industry: 5,330thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,686thMost Influential: 6,040thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6,739thLargest Governments: 7,849thTop
10%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 10,002ndMost Efficient Economies: 10,771stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,720thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,490th
Top
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Avoided: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionMost Conservative: 4th in the regionMost Income Equality: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 5th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, theatre audiences often need a telescope to see the stage.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, the state subsidizes liposuction.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, Dogman-branded weapons are all the rage in the militaristic comic-book community.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, the banshee wail foretells skies of death.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, police detectives carry phrenology calipers as part of their standard kit.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, popular candidates who don't suffer last-second political scandals tend to get fished out of the Aglaea River.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, male tourists tend to be fearful of Herakklion's deadly femme fatales.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent.
  • : Following new legislation in Herakklion, Maxtopians are both starving and giddy after the Herakklionian military unleashed its biological weapons.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 9 » Liszteria, Leontino, Venardia, Abslandia, The Empire of Normies, Znatsnaz, Pederneira, Alissonovia, and Emboabas.

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