by Max Barry

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The Mesmerising Meloncholy of Honeydewistania

Honeydewistania was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 350

“Take the red pill. Drink the melonade.”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Below Average

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: South Beach

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Honeydewistania

Population13.732 billion

CapitalHoneydewopolis
LeaderCharlotte Foster Kane
FaithDeath or Glory

Currencyhusk
Animalsheep

The Mesmerising Meloncholy of Honeydewistania is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Charlotte Foster Kane with an even hand, and notable for its feral children, flagrant waste-dumping, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 13.732 billion Honeydewistanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Honeydewopolis. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Honeydewistanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,077 trillion husks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 369,782 husks, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,447,474 per year while the poor average 3,531, a ratio of 976 to 1.

Scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, a South Beach Tourist Association survey has rated Honeydewistania #1 for number twos, diabetics find the contents of their medications hard to stomach, and politicians are often seen drinking soft drinks at the end of every public address. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Honeydewistania's national animal is the sheep, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Death or Glory.

Honeydewistania is ranked 306,846th in the world and 1st in South Beach for Most Cultured, scoring -100 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 49thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 66thHighest Crime Rates: 67thLargest Retail Industry: 70thMost Armed: 72ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 77thMost Avoided: 90thLargest Gambling Industry: 92ndFattest Citizens: 98thHighest Drug Use: 124thRudest Citizens: 146thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 171stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 183rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 199thMost Ignorant Citizens: 207thMost Secular: 208thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 334thHighest Disposable Incomes: 361stMost Efficient Economies: 589thMost Valuable International Artwork: 619thLargest Insurance Industry: 694thLargest Mining Sector: 708thMost Rebellious Youth: 726thMost Corrupt Governments: 881stNudest: 1,045thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,099thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,277thHighest Average Incomes: 1,426thTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 3,224thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,330thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3,463rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 8,034thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 9,916thTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 16,523rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 22,529thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 24,023rdMost Pro-Market: 29,205thLargest Populations: 29,713thLargest Black Market: 29,946th

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