The Holy Libertarian Empire of Horseshoes and Hand Grenades is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Jebediah Money with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, compulsory military service, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.875 billion Horseshoes and Hand Grenadesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Big Bucksville. The average income tax rate is 41.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Horseshoes and Hand Grenadesian economy, worth 589 trillion Currencies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 100,410 Currencies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Education for the poor is learning to ask "do you want fries with that?", teddy bear James Dean (aka "the Rebel Without the Claws") helps convince kids that candy cigarettes are cool, people think garlic bread counts as one of their "five a day", and a surprising number of travelers carry their water in vodka bottles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Horseshoes and Hand Grenades's national animal is the Animal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is We Fool You.

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades is ranked 108,071^st in the world and 2,086^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 64.92 law-abiding acts per hour.