by Max Barry

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The Illahee of Huloima Tillikum

“Huyhuy kloshe, kloshe kopa konaway”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Ridgefield

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Huloima Tillikum

Population627 million

CapitalHyas Town

Currencyshell wampum
Animalolhiyu seal

The Illahee of Huloima Tillikum is a huge, cultured nation, notable for its deadly medical pandemics, complete lack of public education, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 627 million Huloima Tillikumians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hyas Town. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.9%.

The all-consuming Huloima Tillikumian economy, worth 63.6 trillion shell wampums a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 101,422 shell wampums, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 451,340 per year while the poor average 14,184, a ratio of 31.8 to 1.

Shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities, there's more vermin than ever on the metro, the government merely sends empty platitudes whenever natural disasters strike foreign nations, and victims of limb-mauling industrial accidents are told to keep working with their remaining hand. Crime is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Huloima Tillikum's national animal is the olhiyu seal, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Huloima Tillikum is ranked 284,600th in the world and 90th in Ridgefield for Most Secular, with 9.63 Atheism Rate.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 1,598thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,208thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,224thTop
5%
Highest Crime Rates: 3,349thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,697thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,284thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,739thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,240thRudest Citizens: 6,603rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 7,487thLargest Retail Industry: 10,625thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,310thMost Influential: 14,303rdTop
10%
Most Armed: 21,800thMost Ignorant Citizens: 25,660thMost Devout: 31,325thMost Pro-Market: 31,339th
Top
5%
Most Pro-Market: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Avoided: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5th in the regionMost Armed: 6th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 7th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8th in the regionMost Devout: 9th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Huloima Tillikum was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Huloima Tillikum, victims of limb-mauling industrial accidents are told to keep working with their remaining hand.
  • : Huloima Tillikum was endorsed by The Axial Impetus of Kay Pacha.
  • : Following new legislation in Huloima Tillikum, the government merely sends empty platitudes whenever natural disasters strike foreign nations.
  • : Following new legislation in Huloima Tillikum, there's more vermin than ever on the metro.
  • : Following new legislation in Huloima Tillikum, shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities.
  • : Following new legislation in Huloima Tillikum, sex-ed is child's play.
  • : Huloima Tillikum voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "All We Want for Christmas Is You"".
  • : Huloima Tillikum voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "All We Want for Christmas Is You"".
  • : Following new legislation in Huloima Tillikum, defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were.

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