The Commonwealth of Humpty Doo is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its closed borders, avowedly heterosexual populace, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.995 billion Humpty Dooans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Humpty Dooan economy, worth a remarkable 4,252 trillion Jarjarbinks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 184,929 Jarjarbinks, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,700,485 per year while the poor average 2,071, a ratio of 820 to 1.

The Holy Office of the Inquisition is the highest court in the land, the people consider response to rudeness to be an acceptable casus belli, mountain rescuers refer to their new gear as the 'watchamacallits' and 'thingymabobs', and companies are literally blowing their competition out of the water. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force. Humpty Doo's national animal is the Fighting Slime Mold, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Humpty Doo is ranked 328,048^th in the world and 4,975^th in The East Pacific for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring -9.49 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.