by Max Barry

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The Hahahahahaha of Imagine having puppets

“Yeah imagine, couldn't be me!”

Category: Moralistic Democracy
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: The Funian Puppet Region

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Imagine having puppets

Population3.681 billion

CapitalOne
LeaderOne
FaithOne

CurrencyOne
AnimalOne

The Hahahahahaha of Imagine having puppets is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by One with an even hand, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, ubiquitous missile silos, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 3.681 billion Oneses are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of One. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Imagine having puppetsian economy, worth 507 trillion Ones a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 137,881 Ones, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 538,380 per year while the poor average 24,085, a ratio of 22.4 to 1.

Programmers often reinvent the wheel, One's military council has been nicknamed 'The Knights of the Rotund Table', weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law, and the national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Imagine having puppets's national animal is the One, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is One.

Imagine having puppets is ranked 76,700th in the world and 51st in The Funian Puppet Region for Most Stationary, with 626.78680718952 days.

Top
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,824thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,542ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,764thMost Advanced Public Transport: 10,432ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10,671stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,948thNudest: 13,410thTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 15,196thHighest Average Tax Rates: 16,234thMost Corrupt Governments: 18,359thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 18,724thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 19,192ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 19,822ndLargest Governments: 21,995thMost Subsidized Industry: 23,414thMost Advanced Public Education: 25,091stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 25,799thHighest Average Incomes: 27,262ndLowest Crime Rates: 27,324th
Top
1%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 4th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionTop
5%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 10th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 16th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 16th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 19th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 19th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 19th in the regionNudest: 19th in the regionMost Influential: 20th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 23rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 28th in the regionRudest Citizens: 29th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 31st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 33rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 35th in the regionMost Stationary: 51st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 55th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, the national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service.
  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law.
  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, One's military council has been nicknamed 'The Knights of the Rotund Table'.
  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, programmers often reinvent the wheel.
  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, the Imagine having puppets Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise.
  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, a few immigrants are better than no immigrants according to One.
  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity.
  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government.
  • : Following new legislation in Imagine having puppets, childish pranks are no laughing matter.
  • : Imagine having puppets was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Black Market.

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