The Empire of Imperial American Patriots is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Maximus Steel with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 1.473 billion Empire of Imperial American Patriotsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Imperial City. The average income tax rate is 72.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Empire of Imperial American Patriotsian economy, worth 152 trillion US Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 103,542 US Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shaken martini sales have soared in nations surrounding Imperial American Patriots, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, Imperial City's main city thoroughfare has been blocked by a row of leyland cypresses that mysteriously appeared overnight, and fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Imperial American Patriots's national animal is the Gray Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Imperial American Patriots is ranked 126,183^rd in the world and 5,255^th in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 1,047.39 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.