by Max Barry

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The New Rothish Empire of Ionalands

“For the Great Green North/För sei Grooten Grœnen Norğa!”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Ersetum



Population4.106 billion

LeaderHer Majesty Queen Astrid I

AnimalMute Swan

The New Rothish Empire of Ionalands is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Her Majesty Queen Astrid I with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.106 billion Roths are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Environment and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marksburg. The average income tax rate is 92.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Rothish economy, worth a remarkable 1,779 trillion Rjoğmarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 433,440 Rjoğmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss, using "inspect element" is grounds for espionage charges, some magnifier-wielding Roths say Her Majesty Queen Astrid I seems a little lacking in something, and political activists are routinely executed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ionalands's national animal is the Mute Swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Ionalands is ranked 208,179th in the world and 25th in Ersetum for Most Politically Free, scoring 17.43 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 124thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 175thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 384thHighest Average Incomes: 569thMost Secular: 625thMost Armed: 721stMost Corrupt Governments: 730thLargest Agricultural Sector: 791stHighest Poor Incomes: 925thMost Avoided: 928thLargest Mining Sector: 1,038thLargest Black Market: 1,114thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,296thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,358thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,465thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,583rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,635thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,845thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,998thMost Efficient Economies: 2,068thTop
Fattest Citizens: 2,425thRudest Citizens: 2,499thLargest Governments: 2,956thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,356thLowest Crime Rates: 4,986thSmartest Citizens: 5,347thMost Developed: 5,450thMost Advanced Public Education: 6,108thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,653rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6,762ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7,983rdLargest Retail Industry: 8,352ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 8,929thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9,302ndHighest Economic Output: 9,469thMost Influential: 10,366thTop
Most Conservative: 19,812th
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionTop
Nudest: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.

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