by Max Barry

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The New Rothish Empire of Ionalands

“For the Great Green North/För sei Grooten Grœnen Norğa!”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Truckler

Location: Ersetum

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Ionalands

Population4.539 billion

CapitalMarksburg
LeaderHer Majesty Queen Astrid I
FaithAtheism

CurrencyRjoğmark
AnimalMute Swan

The New Rothish Empire of Ionalands is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Her Majesty Queen Astrid I with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, state-planned economy, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.539 billion Roths are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marksburg. The average income tax rate is 93.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Rothish economy, worth a remarkable 1,971 trillion Rjoğmarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 434,346 Rjoğmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction, bars are packed at all hours, terrorist videos start by thanking their sponsors, and the nation's declaring that sharing nukes is caring. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ionalands's national animal is the Mute Swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Ionalands is ranked 85,367th in the world and 16th in Ersetum for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 2,598.26 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 124thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 176thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 375thHighest Average Incomes: 574thMost Secular: 617thMost Armed: 719thMost Corrupt Governments: 734thHighest Poor Incomes: 741stLargest Agricultural Sector: 784thMost Avoided: 930thLargest Mining Sector: 1,030thLargest Black Market: 1,038thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,285thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,427thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,493rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,507thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,631stMost Subsidized Industry: 1,950thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,046thMost Efficient Economies: 2,198thFattest Citizens: 2,248thTop
5%
Largest Governments: 2,950thRudest Citizens: 2,953rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,667thLowest Crime Rates: 5,046thSmartest Citizens: 5,354thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,986thMost Developed: 6,041stHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,549thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7,888thLargest Retail Industry: 8,463rdHighest Economic Output: 8,494thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 9,101stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9,564thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 10,873rdTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 23,522nd
Top
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Ionalands's influence in Ersetum fell from "Handshaker" to "Truckler".
  • : Ionalands's influence in Ersetum rose from "Truckler" to "Handshaker".
  • : Ionalands's influence in Ersetum rose from "Vassal" to "Truckler".
  • : Ionalands's influence in Ersetum rose from "Apprentice" to "Vassal".
  • : Following new legislation in Ionalands, the nation's declaring that sharing nukes is caring.
  • : Following new legislation in Ionalands, terrorist videos start by thanking their sponsors.
  • : Following new legislation in Ionalands, bars are packed at all hours.
  • : Following new legislation in Ionalands, the new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction.
  • : Ionalands was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Public Healthcare.
  • : Following new legislation in Ionalands, major cities are suffering under water rationing.

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