by Max Barry

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The Godless Mercantile Nexus of Isla Vista

“Where churches are charged with fraud and racketeering!”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Wysteria


Isla Vista

Population38.125 billion

LeaderColonial Premier Mawaar

CurrencyGolden Bond
AnimalMarsupial Tiger

The Godless Mercantile Nexus of Isla Vista is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Colonial Premier Mawaar with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 38.125 billion Islanders are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trigo. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Isla Vistan economy, worth an astonishing 32,018 trillion Golden Bonds a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is a breathtaking 839,830 Golden Bonds, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,867,598 per year while the poor average 7,538, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Commemorative mugs remembering last year's Black Friday Crockery Riots are a best seller this year, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools, politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech, and citizens who don't recite the Pledge of Isla Vista at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Isla Vista's national animal is the Marsupial Tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Isla Vista is ranked 74,981st in the world and 33rd in Wysteria for Most Extreme, scoring 21.97 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 7thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 10thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 12thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 15thHighest Disposable Incomes: 15thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 17thHighest Economic Output: 17thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 21stMost Scientifically Advanced: 21stMost Avoided: 27thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 28thHighest Average Incomes: 29thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 30thMost Armed: 33rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 36thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 40thLargest Insurance Industry: 43rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 46thLargest Mining Sector: 50thMost Secular: 51stLargest Populations: 56thMost Efficient Economies: 63rdFattest Citizens: 82ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 84thSmartest Citizens: 86thHighest Crime Rates: 119thRudest Citizens: 142ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 145thLargest Publishing Industry: 197thMost Corrupt Governments: 233rdLargest Retail Industry: 259thMost Cultured: 268thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 411thLargest Information Technology Sector: 420thTop
Largest Gambling Industry: 2,347thLargest Black Market: 4,644thMost Rebellious Youth: 6,058thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,283rdMost Influential: 6,731stTop
Largest Governments: 11,607thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 11,800thMost Pro-Market: 12,816thMost Subsidized Industry: 18,779thMost Stationary: 20,564th
Most Secular: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 3rd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 3rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4th in the regionTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 5th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 5th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionMost Avoided: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 6th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Cultured: 7th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 8th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Isla Vista was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Governments.
  • : Isla Vista was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Isla Vista was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Isla Vista was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Civil Rights.
  • : Isla Vista was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Isla Vista was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Isla Vista was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides and Most Efficient Economies and the Top 10% for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.
  • : Isla Vista was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Dead.
  • : Isla Vista was struck by a Mk II (Sterilizer) Cure Missile from The Huddled Terrified Masses of Keyser Soze, curing 1 million infected.
  • : Isla Vista was struck by a Mk III (Purifier) Cure Missile from The Green and Pleasant Dominion of The Bruce, curing 1 million infected.


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