The Jingoistic States of Island Lands is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its soft-spoken computers, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 7.633 billion Island Landsians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 64.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Island Landsian economy, worth 687 trillion guilders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Trout Farming, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 90,063 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Old folks yearn for the days when young people saw bloodthirsty death matches with their own eyes instead of through a screen, rabbits are known to spontaneously explode without warning, cops with assault weaponry are forcing their way into private homes to search for terrorists, and hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Island Lands's national animal is the emu, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Island Lands is ranked 38,000^th in the world and 998^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 78.53 law-abiding acts per hour.