The August Bastion of Jaegerpondonia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Jaeger Sylva with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 5.994 billion Jaegerpondonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvania. The average income tax rate is 4.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Jaegerpondonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,433 trillion bits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 239,099 bits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Pigs can fly but only in Economy Class, religious households enthusiastically use whips in private, the government spends billions to protect Jaegerpondonia from a disaster that is one in a million, and a suspicious number of John Smiths are known to donate to Jaegerpondonian politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Jaegerpondonia's national animal is the Earth Pony, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Invisible Pink Unicornism.

Jaegerpondonia is ranked 13,497^th in the world and 176^th in 10000 Islands for Safest, scoring 117.13 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.