The August Bastion of Jaegerpondonia is a huge, safe nation, ruled by Jaeger Sylva with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 787 million Jaegerpondonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvania. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Jaegerpondonian economy, worth 101 trillion bits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 129,135 bits, with the richest citizens earning 7.3 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events, the nation's diplomatic missives are now delivered via sniper rifle, and governments opposing Jaegerpondonia are beset by rebels. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaegerpondonia's national animal is the Earth Pony, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Jaegerpondonia is ranked 149,976^th in the world and 890^th in 10000 Islands for Least Corrupt Governments, with 92.86 percentage of bribes refused.