The Absolute Psychotic Republic of Jaslo is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Stephan Zych with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 4.061 billion Jasloans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jaslo DF. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 84.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Jasloan economy, worth 466 trillion Zloties a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 114,951 Zloties, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens, citizens must pay to enjoy Jaslo's pristine beaches, corporations cut costs by taking away safety-features on their products, and every diamond ring sold is accompanied by a twenty-five page analysis and a waiver. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaslo's national animal is the Águila, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Jaslo is ranked 163,255^th in the world and 874^th in Europe for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 1,406.79 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.