by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Kingdom of Javaland

“Free hugs for all!”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Strong
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Power

Location: Plushies United

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Javaland

Population5.313 billion

CapitalJava City
LeaderKing Java Chip
FaithJavanism

CurrencyPaw
AnimalGolden Retriever

The Kingdom of Javaland is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by King Java Chip with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and national health service. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 5.313 billion Javalandians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Java City. The average income tax rate is 69.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Javalandian economy, worth 401 trillion Paws a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Tourism, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,579 Paws, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy, an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents, petitions to the government are being used to insulate politicians' office walls, and school lockers are filled with fancy underwear. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Javaland's national animal is the Golden Retriever, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Javanism.

Javaland is ranked 35,942nd in the world and 8th in Plushies United for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 3,766.25 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

Top
5%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,410thMost Devout: 7,684thMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,747thNicest Citizens: 9,077thMost Compassionate Citizens: 9,353rdMost Pacifist: 10,775thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,301stTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 14,007thMost Cultured: 14,111thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14,803rdLargest Publishing Industry: 16,422ndBest Weather: 17,183rdMost Inclusive: 17,594thMost Beautiful Environments: 17,923rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 19,748thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 20,215thMost Valuable International Artwork: 20,222ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 20,704thLongest Average Lifespans: 21,395thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 21,663rdHealthiest Citizens: 22,074th
Top
10%
Nicest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Income Equality: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, school lockers are filled with fancy underwear.
  • : Javaland was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, petitions to the government are being used to insulate politicians' office walls.
  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents.
  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy.
  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, citizens cannot change their light bulbs without approval from an international committee.
  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, nobody ever questions the unquestioned rule that questions must always be asked.
  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, the government recently relinquished its monopoly on the mail service.
  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, glamping Javalandians won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi.
  • : Following new legislation in Javaland, atheists on vacation find Javanism's scriptures make useful doorstops.

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