Category: Iron Fist Consumerists | ||
Civil Rights: Unheard Of |
Economy: Frightening |
Political Freedoms: Unheard Of |
Regional Influence: Minnow
Location: the Rejected Realms
Population | 22.283 billion |
Capital | Eaeuyaueghe |
Leader | Audio-animatronic Abraham Lincoln |
Faith | Children of the All Knowing |
Currency | ding dong |
Animal | squirrel |
The Ambulatory Corpse Nation of Johoichim is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Audio-animatronic Abraham Lincoln with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.283 billion Johoichimites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eaeuyaueghe. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.
The frighteningly efficient Johoichimian economy, worth a remarkable 4,148 trillion ding dong a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, Gambling, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 186,169 ding dong, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.
Populations of two-headed squirrels have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites, political dissidents are cut off from essential services, captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship, and the elderly are killed softly with a song. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Johoichim's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Children of the All Knowing.
Johoichim is ranked 329,002nd in the world and 4,707th in the Rejected Realms for Smartest Citizens, with 1.93 quips per hour.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens and Most Valuable International Artwork.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Black Market.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Populations.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Dead.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Zombies and the Top 10% for Most Zombified and Most Survivors.
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Johoichim was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Populations.