by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Commonwealth of Jovian Knights

“The State is a Magnificent Father” God Emperor Fauci

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Page

Location: The North Pacific


Jovian Knights

Population5.875 billion

LeaderGod Emperor Fauci

CurrencyHealth Bar

The Commonwealth of Jovian Knights is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by God Emperor Fauci with an iron fist, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.875 billion Jovians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lindas. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Jovian economy, worth a remarkable 1,114 trillion Health Bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 189,743 Health Bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The fire brigade often deal with cases of burnt toast, Jovian Knights is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, a common response to government PSAs is "well, DUH, obviously", and all statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jovian Knights's national animal is the Taiga, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Jovian Knights is ranked 189,644th in the world and 8,605th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 165.29 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 397thMost Secular: 609thMost Influential: 657thMost Pacifist: 1,365thSafest: 1,381stLowest Crime Rates: 1,640thMost Developed: 1,659thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,754thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,799thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,837thTop
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,075thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,149thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,152ndLargest Governments: 2,288thBest Weather: 2,310thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,372ndMost Beautiful Environments: 2,384thMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,440thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,568thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,696thSmartest Citizens: 3,148thHealthiest Citizens: 3,208thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,312thMost Inclusive: 3,364thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,442ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,786thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,938thMost Compassionate Citizens: 4,494thNicest Citizens: 5,245thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,426thMost Efficient Economies: 6,547thHighest Average Incomes: 7,243rdLargest Publishing Industry: 9,680thTop
Highest Economic Output: 15,087thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 19,547thMost Cultured: 19,624th
Most Secular: 26th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 79th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 80th in the regionSafest: 81st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 84th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 87th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 87th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 88th in the regionMost Pacifist: 91st in the regionTop
Most Developed: 99th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 100th in the regionLargest Governments: 110th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 114th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 126th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 129th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 141st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 145th in the regionBest Weather: 149th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 157th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 169th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 186th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 194th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 217th in the regionMost Influential: 230th in the regionMost Inclusive: 230th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 234th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 279th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 290th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 298th in the regionNicest Citizens: 312th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 354th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 359th in the regionTop
Highest Economic Output: 487th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 514th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 783rd in the regionLargest Populations: 889th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Jovian Knights was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Jovian Knights was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, all statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, a common response to government PSAs is "well, DUH, obviously".
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, Jovian Knights is notorious for its citizens' infidelity.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, the fire brigade often deal with cases of burnt toast.
  • : Jovian Knights endorsed The Dissociative State of Hardscrabble.
  • : Jovian Knights was endorsed by The Dissociative State of Hardscrabble.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares.
  • : Following new legislation in Jovian Knights, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 303 » Runeda, Yaorozu, The Rhein States, Loutsland, Kasazzastan, Pazair, Clan Spaniel, McMasterdonia, Great Bights Mum, United Kahndaq, Koda-Land, Guer Aike, Notyoutopia, Zyvetskistaahn, Territorio di Nessuno, Vincone Cae, Corfad, Pallaith, Dabarastan, PlanetPunk, Dreadton, Sunto, Ethnon, North Bratislava, Dar es Saalam, Seenvorland, Selfgradatude, Kranostav, Xentherida, Trillius, Sundred, Viridiann, Shibutani, Orado, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Zumlandia, Frances Francis the First of France, Steampunk Ariel, Glurponia, Wisconsota, Wineclaw, Ravendi, 1 very fast endotarter, Shadowrik, Daiz, Newpromisedland, Holy Oranz, Omnistria, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Siwale, and 253 others.The Tampa Bay Rays, New Octicarg, Interdimensional Zone, Aetulia, New Lakemba, Detrivania, Valhalla123, North Novkia, Olofin, Sil Dorsett, Bearical, Quentiam Viventem, Kappacon, Unsophisticate, Leonfire, Empy, Moose repupblic, Pleroma Sans Romans, Karazan, The English Alliance, Abject Ludicrosity, El Fiji Grande, Partax, Anungu, Tachycardia, Velon, Gnomewatchers, The Navy Blue, The Iron Lions, Misthas, Serendipita Martia, Valentine Z, Terban Kedah, Freyford, Montarc, Fendlium, Praeceps, Zecit, Malta Comino Gozo, Volstokn, Loli County, Cobleck Weleis, Austral States of America, Avemterra, Napnomadia, The Real Ram Ranch, Cloydicia, Wilkshire, Hamerica, Free Culture, PotatoFarmers, Merconitonitopia, Valatic Ash, Moubarakistan, Kelvaros Prime, Xagill, Noahs Second Country, Universal State Formula, Woodsend, The New Communist Republic Of States, Yokciq Empire, Wit Noreis, The Stratosphere Islands, MiaryBhalzhack, The Endless Eventide, Votak Matim, Clan Barrnary, Eschatosia, Chukstik Illahi, Central Ryal, Cors Evia, KhalChicken, Cape Flower, Ataraxia Somnia, Spades Atlantic, Amblegreserland, SherpDaWerp in TNP, Ihese, Crader, Godwanna, The Windmilluminati, New Avian, Diodone, Prevaland, Plangainer, SORT, Antiyard, Avastate, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Aeolist, Varola, Nistriabar, Tunofferia, Unshleepd, Irishvan, Kadarra, Westinor, Solskjar, Hyphen, Xyrron, Schnuftelland, Fel Imass, Greater New America, Abiswashyo-bhumi, Alyrria, Wooleystan, Maott, U S Eh, The Pantheons, East Akra, Korovan Isles, The Most Freedom Ever, Fizban, Joodey, Zeternia, Khoik, Astronomical, Solimun, Prydania, Zemnaya Svoboda, The Serdey Islands, Fauzjhia, Mesopotama, Greater Pittsburgh, Frostcell, Sikol, Saperisole, Zzozona, I Like Killing people, Former English Colony, Libertania Democratica, Termathe, Shinjuku tokyo 0, Guepo, The Calabash Protectorate, Kocherian, The Democratic Kingdom Of Skaraborg, Sevinland, Czechnin, Montinario, Rainengrad, Borsukia, Asoc lon, Yalgora, Mystiquelle, Aoncarpa, Mimia, Ihsan, Seanat, The Canadian Peoples Republic, Brucklania, Hopsin, Blackphir, Innocentic, Nationeer, Secularus, Nordic-British Union, Arichia, Potatolandium, Protonfield, Solcius, Sattelbach, Manticore utopia, Immenium, Sakarna, Rad Lads, Centromuria, Dangine, Lux Conos, Kahlo, Bend Mai, Cabaifer, Caselpania, Daxuxian, Teg, Ilmatil, DIMAnism, Yellops, Eywaan, Solmetria, Principia Mathematica, Ausnakulia, Peronia Austral, Ereena, Ver Testua, Canibull, Nouvelle-Floride, Azzarel, Damsmel, Smesh, Highton Islands, New Jamgra, Cretox State, Eurochina, Cartero, Aprenencia, A Ordem do Caos, Unimaginable Doom, Fracie, Maclare, East Natomes, Fascist Democracy, Simone Republic, Revolutionary Sealand, Phoronu, Gin Tonic, Madjack, Labora, San Irene, Xipher, Kragsgale, Pokemanland, Buckhem, Astal Aavors, Amerian States, Illusia and Neverendia, Andexia, Sisang, Great Vritania, Neu-Galicia, WeKnow, Daulatpur, Heilhum Imperius, Dechire par la Guerre, Democratic Republic of Kohland, Free Nation of Hong Kong, Orogonia, Basedania, Harjad, Therizia, Frahnkzaden, Cartures, Aerilia, Changjo, Cosmosplosion, Morover, Visse, Sopernia, Lulubellia, Amprak, Glanst, Necromonia, Comfed, Elvoreto, Outer Shenendoah, The Kingdom Of Wagies, Chips and Guac, Liminyj, Magna Banitia, Navsland, Snottelling, Rozarus, and Hardscrabble.

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