by Max Barry

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The Holy Green Hotspots of Kabayong Malibog

“Playtime should be all the time.”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
World Benchmark
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Corrupted

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: The ProcrastiNations

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Kabayong Malibog

Population30.326 billion

CapitalSeksing Seksi City
Leadera part-timer

Currencyorgasm
Animalpornstar

The Holy Green Hotspots of Kabayong Malibog is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a part-timer with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, national health service, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 30.326 billion Kabayong Malibogians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seksing Seksi City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Kabayong Malibogian economy, worth an astonishing 13,282 trillion orgasms a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 437,977 orgasms, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,039,491 per year while the poor average 56,411, a ratio of 36.2 to 1.

Ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kabayong Malibogian pirates, relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly, the military has adopted a weird double-fisted salute, and sales of superhero insurance have skyrocketed after the government abandoned the police in favor of vigilantes. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Kabayong Malibog's national animal is the pornstar, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kabayong Malibog is ranked 150,781st in the world and 11th in The ProcrastiNations for Longest Average Lifespans, with 21.38 Years.

Top
1%
Highest Crime Rates: 11thMost Armed: 15thMost Rebellious Youth: 34thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 40thFattest Citizens: 44thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 51stRudest Citizens: 52ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 55thMost Avoided: 84thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 100thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 145thHighest Disposable Incomes: 167thHighest Economic Output: 170thLargest Gambling Industry: 201stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 229thMost Scientifically Advanced: 295thLargest Retail Industry: 343rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 349thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 355thLargest Publishing Industry: 387thHighest Average Incomes: 401stLargest Insurance Industry: 474thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 542ndLargest Mining Sector: 602ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 788thSmartest Citizens: 939thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,008thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,116thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,283rdMost Stationary: 1,303rdMost Efficient Economies: 1,447thTop
5%
Largest Populations: 1,588thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,823rdMost Secular: 2,355thHighest Drug Use: 2,482ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 2,542ndMost Cultured: 2,971stLargest Black Market: 4,666thMost Politically Free: 5,320thMost Influential: 6,629thMost Inclusive: 6,830thMost Pro-Market: 7,207thMost Extreme: 7,357thTop
10%
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 8,988thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9,132ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14,923rd
Top
10%
Most Cultured: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Politically Free: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kabayong Malibog was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, sales of superhero insurance have skyrocketed after the government abandoned the police in favor of vigilantes.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, the military has adopted a weird double-fisted salute.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly.
  • : Kabayong Malibog was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Extreme.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Kabayong Malibogian pirates.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, city rooftops are pockmarked with the shattered remains of high velocity delivery drones.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, police struggle to solve crimes due to the lack of fingerprint records.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, it's often raining men (hallelujah) in Seksing Seksi City.

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