by Max Barry

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The Holy Green Hotspots of Kabayong Malibog

“Playtime should be all the time.”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Frightening
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: The ProcrastiNations

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Kabayong Malibog

Population32.424 billion

CapitalSeksing Seksi City
Leadera part-timer

Currencyorgasm
Animalpornstar

The Holy Green Hotspots of Kabayong Malibog is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a part-timer with a fair hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, infamous sell-swords, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 32.424 billion Kabayong Malibogians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, although Education is also considered important, while Environment and Law & Order aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seksing Seksi City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Kabayong Malibogian economy, worth an astonishing 14,407 trillion orgasms a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 444,333 orgasms, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,201,917 per year while the poor average 50,844, a ratio of 43.3 to 1.

Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Seksing Seksi City, customers who are not the epitome of politeness always find themselves at the back of the queue, and the Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Kabayong Malibog's national animal is the pornstar, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kabayong Malibog is ranked 126,829th in the world and 5th in The ProcrastiNations for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 611.61 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Crime Rates: 12thMost Armed: 16thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 29thMost Rebellious Youth: 35thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 44thFattest Citizens: 46thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 55thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 57thRudest Citizens: 79thMost Avoided: 87thMost Efficient Economies: 92ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 92ndHighest Economic Output: 173rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 173rdLargest Gambling Industry: 183rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 305thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 344thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 366thLargest Retail Industry: 377thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 384thLargest Publishing Industry: 420thHighest Average Incomes: 478thLargest Insurance Industry: 504thMost Scientifically Advanced: 547thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 623rdLargest Mining Sector: 693rdSmartest Citizens: 1,034thMost Stationary: 1,214thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,221stLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,302ndLargest Populations: 1,538thHighest Drug Use: 1,665thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,732ndTop
5%
Most Secular: 2,211thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,354thLeast Corrupt Governments: 2,646thMost Cultured: 2,834thMost Inclusive: 6,117thLargest Black Market: 7,239thMost Influential: 7,768thMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,889thTop
10%
Most Politically Free: 12,556thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 12,575thLargest Agricultural Sector: 13,803rdMost Pro-Market: 14,873rdMost Extreme: 14,969thLargest Governments: 16,864thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 17,389thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 18,067thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20,532nd
Top
10%
Highest Drug Use: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Politically Free: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kabayong Malibog was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, the Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, customers who are not the epitome of politeness always find themselves at the back of the queue.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Seksing Seksi City.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, Max Barry is this year's Miss Kabayong Malibog.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary.
  • : Following new legislation in Kabayong Malibog, formerly fertile fields are being leached dry of nutrients by intensive farming.

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