by Max Barry

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The Federal Republic of Kazakh Astana

“T Act'h' mq Alqb”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Cape of Good Hope

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Kazakh Astana

Population7.827 billion

CapitalRhqqal' Bȳyev'ctah'
LeaderAmr Tmr
FaithAlqreamqỳtem

CurrencyTehqqral
AnimalBrown Bear

The Federal Republic of Kazakh Astana is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Amr Tmr with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, vat-grown people, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 7.827 billion Act'hs are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rhqqal' Bȳyev'ctah'. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Act'h economy, worth a remarkable 3,212 trillion Tehqqrals a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 410,462 Tehqqrals, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

One-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man, a government program is underway to revitalize Kazakh Astana's beaches, the minority inevitably have their addenda vetoed, and drive-by spoilers are an increasingly common crime. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Kazakh Astana's national animal is the Brown Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Alqreamqỳtem.

Kazakh Astana is ranked 2,421st in the world and 4th in Cape of Good Hope for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 8,565.03 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Highest Poor Incomes: 128thLargest Information Technology Sector: 201stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 238thLargest Black Market: 485thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 547thMost Scientifically Advanced: 560thHighest Average Incomes: 663rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 933rdMost Advanced Public Education: 945thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,166thLargest Governments: 1,175thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,328thMost Developed: 1,461stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,869thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,939thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,941stTop
5%
Smartest Citizens: 2,095thMost Inclusive: 2,297thMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,326thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,421stLargest Publishing Industry: 2,705thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,714thRudest Citizens: 2,866thMost Efficient Economies: 3,003rdMost Beautiful Environments: 3,064thLowest Crime Rates: 3,087thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,323rdHighest Economic Output: 3,778thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,959thHealthiest Citizens: 4,574thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 6,813thBest Weather: 6,918thMost Secular: 7,410thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,595thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,478thTop
10%
Most Income Equality: 11,135thLargest Retail Industry: 11,597th
Top
1%
Most Developed: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 4th in the regionRudest Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 6th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Inclusive: 7th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionLargest Populations: 8th in the regionMost Secular: 9th in the regionBest Weather: 10th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Retail Industry: 15th in the regionNudest: 15th in the regionMost Income Equality: 20th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kazakh Astana's influence in Cape of Good Hope rose from "Minnow" to "Sprat".
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, drive-by spoilers are an increasingly common crime.
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, the minority inevitably have their addenda vetoed.
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, a government program is underway to revitalize Kazakh Astana's beaches.
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, one-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man.
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, people can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler'.
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, the upper class have been throwing riots after hunting was recently banned.
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, torture is illegal.
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security.
  • : Following new legislation in Kazakh Astana, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes.

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