The Federation of Kellavere Landscape Conservation Area is a huge, genial nation, remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, devout population of 906 million Kellavere Landscape Conservation Areans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government prioritizes Defense, with Welfare, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 51.0%.

The strong Kellavere Landscape Conservation Arean economy, worth 56.5 trillion gambles a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 62,382 gambles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Homeless people are periodically found dead upon altars to assorted deities, there has been a rapid increase of noise complaints over the sound of buzzing bees, party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance", and strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kellavere Landscape Conservation Area's national animal is the gamble, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Kellavere Landscape Conservation Area is ranked 37,651^st in the world and 10^th in Protected Landscapes of Estonia for Most Primitive, scoring 65.62 on the Scary Big Number Scale.