The Holy Empire of Kimikwamkwakiil is a huge, cultured nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, avant-garde cinema, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 337 million Kimikwamkwakiilians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kwakwa'kwamsja. The average income tax rate is 58.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Kimikwamkwakiilian economy, worth 13.1 trillion Puliras a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 38,802 Puliras, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kimikwamkwakiil recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace, patriots insist that size does matter, legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench, and women are often jailed for failing to fetch their husbands' slippers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kimikwamkwakiil's national animal is the Hyena, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kimikwamkwakiil is ranked 228,284^th in the world and 5,956^th in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring zero on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.