The EriePennsylvania Brewers of Koehler Beer is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Lou Tullio with an iron fist, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, absence of drug laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 38.992 billion Erieites are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Environment, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Erie. The average income tax rate is 12.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Koehler Beerian economy, worth a remarkable 2,318 trillion jacksons a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 59,458 jacksons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention, the installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused, engineers ask liberal arts majors "Do you want fries with that?", and under love's heavy burden Lou Tullio sinks lower in the political right's esteem. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Koehler Beer's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bokononism.

Koehler Beer is ranked 132,678^th in the world and 9^th in Pennsylvania for Lowest Crime Rates, with 62.48 law-abiding acts per hour.