by Max Barry

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The Empire of Koem Kab

Koem Kab was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 287

“”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: The Secret Order

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Koem Kab

Population8.235 billion

CapitalFederick City
LeaderThe Great Leader
FaithKoem Kabism

Currencypound
Animalporpoise

The Empire of Koem Kab is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Great Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, compulsory gun ownership, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 8.235 billion Koem Kabs are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Federick City. The average income tax rate is 99.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Koem Kabian economy, worth a remarkable 6,746 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 819,197 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, grannies with arthritic hands work miserably on factory production lines, and the sound of wooden legs echo throughout Koem Kab after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koem Kab's national animal is the porpoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Koem Kabism.

Koem Kab is ranked 25,476th in the world and 1st in The Secret Order for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 6,137.5 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 1stHighest Poor Incomes: 10thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 23rdHighest Average Incomes: 35thMost Secular: 43rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 46thMost Subsidized Industry: 61stMost Scientifically Advanced: 67thLargest Information Technology Sector: 88thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 110thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 111thMost Efficient Economies: 120thLargest Black Market: 136thMost Corrupt Governments: 176thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 205thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 272ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 281stLargest Agricultural Sector: 297thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 300thMost Armed: 303rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 315thLargest Mining Sector: 325thLargest Governments: 326thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 358thLargest Insurance Industry: 364thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 439thLargest Retail Industry: 455thMost Avoided: 477thSmartest Citizens: 507thFattest Citizens: 582ndLowest Crime Rates: 826thLargest Publishing Industry: 883rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 912thMost Advanced Public Education: 940thHighest Average Tax Rates: 986thHighest Economic Output: 1,056thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,267thRudest Citizens: 1,331stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,757thMost Cultured: 1,940thTop
5%
Most Developed: 2,504thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,586thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,084thLongest Average Lifespans: 9,597thTop
10%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 13,062ndMost Authoritarian: 17,166th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, the sound of wooden legs echo throughout Koem Kab after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, grannies with arthritic hands work miserably on factory production lines.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, hairdressers are among those who have disappeared overnight.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, blessed are the meek for they have been beaten into submission.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, cubicles often double as graves as citizens literally work themselves to death.
  • : Following new legislation in Koem Kab, the military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers.

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