by Max Barry

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Wysteria

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Koffee

Population38.314 billion

CapitalFull City
LeaderGeneralissimo Barista Espresso

CurrencyCuppa
AnimalSchrodingers Cat

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, digital currency, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 38.314 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 33,708 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 879,793 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,241,928 per year while the poor average 7,897, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 209,469th in the world and 80th in Wysteria for Safest, scoring 1.6 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

Top
1%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 8thHighest Disposable Incomes: 8thHighest Economic Output: 10thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 14thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 16thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18thLargest Insurance Industry: 20thHighest Average Incomes: 20thLargest Populations: 20thSmartest Citizens: 22ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 25thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 29thMost Avoided: 30thLargest Mining Sector: 36thLargest Agricultural Sector: 40thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 42ndLargest Gambling Industry: 44thFattest Citizens: 49thMost Armed: 52ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 75thLargest Publishing Industry: 78thHighest Crime Rates: 91stRudest Citizens: 108thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 113thMost Cultured: 166thMost Secular: 174thLargest Retail Industry: 282ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 660thMost Corrupt Governments: 760thMost Rebellious Youth: 796thMost Efficient Economies: 935thTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,958thLargest Black Market: 4,503rdMost Influential: 6,671stMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,258thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 7,995thTop
10%
Most Pro-Market: 14,042ndMost Stationary: 20,572nd
Top
5%
Smartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 5th in the regionMost Cultured: 6th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 6th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 8th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 8th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Koffee was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Koffee was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Civil Rights.
  • : Koffee was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Koffee was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Efficient Economies and Greatest Rich-Poor Divides and the Top 5% for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.
  • : The Henshin Alliance of Tokuopolis was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : The Henshin Alliance of Tokuopolis was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : The Henshin Alliance of Tokuopolis was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : The Henshin Alliance of Tokuopolis was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : Sentients was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : Sentients was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.

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