by Max Barry

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Wysteria

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Koffee

Population37.347 billion

CapitalFull City
LeaderGeneralissimo Barista Espresso

CurrencyCuppa
AnimalSchrodingers Cat

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 37.347 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 32,857 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 879,793 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,241,928 per year while the poor average 7,897, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 37th in the world and 4th in Wysteria for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 70,739.07 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Top
1%
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 5thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7thHighest Disposable Incomes: 8thHighest Economic Output: 10thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 13thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 15thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18thSmartest Citizens: 19thHighest Average Incomes: 20thLargest Populations: 21stLargest Insurance Industry: 21stMost Scientifically Advanced: 24thMost Avoided: 28thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 30thLargest Mining Sector: 37thFattest Citizens: 41stLargest Agricultural Sector: 41stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 45thLargest Gambling Industry: 49thMost Armed: 50thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 70thHighest Crime Rates: 83rdLargest Publishing Industry: 87thRudest Citizens: 96thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 102ndMost Secular: 144thMost Cultured: 153rdLargest Retail Industry: 251stLargest Information Technology Sector: 647thMost Corrupt Governments: 705thMost Rebellious Youth: 802ndMost Efficient Economies: 835thTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,722ndLargest Black Market: 3,978thMost Influential: 5,534thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,738thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 7,311thTop
10%
Most Pro-Market: 9,090th
Top
5%
Smartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionTop
10%
Most Armed: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 7th in the regionMost Cultured: 7th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 8th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 8th in the regionFattest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Avoided: 8th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Koffee was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Koffee was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Efficient Economies and Greatest Rich-Poor Divides and the Top 5% for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.
  • : The Henshin Alliance of Tokuopolis was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : The Henshin Alliance of Tokuopolis was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : The Henshin Alliance of Tokuopolis was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : The Henshin Alliance of Tokuopolis was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : Sentients was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : Sentients was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : Sentients was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.
  • : Sentients was struck by a Mk IV (Pacifier) Cure Missile from Koffee, curing 1 million infected.

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