by Max Barry

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: Wysteria

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Koffee

Population46.262 billion

CapitalFull City
LeaderGeneralissimo Barista Espresso

CurrencyCuppa
AnimalSchrodingers Cat

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, compulsory military service, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 46.262 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 40,701 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 879,794 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,241,938 per year while the poor average 7,897, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 44th in the world and 4th in Wysteria for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 58,674.25 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 5thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9thLargest Populations: 12thHighest Economic Output: 12thLargest Insurance Industry: 15thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 20thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 22ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 28thHighest Average Incomes: 32ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 32ndLargest Gambling Industry: 44thLargest Mining Sector: 45thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 46thMost Avoided: 53rdSmartest Citizens: 53rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 61stLargest Agricultural Sector: 64thFattest Citizens: 66thMost Armed: 78thLargest Publishing Industry: 89thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 99thHighest Crime Rates: 121stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 193rdRudest Citizens: 213thMost Cultured: 249thMost Secular: 308thLargest Retail Industry: 609thMost Rebellious Youth: 998thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,042ndMost Corrupt Governments: 1,401stMost Efficient Economies: 1,734thTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 5,488thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,606thMost Influential: 6,715thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 8,950thLargest Black Market: 10,046thMost Stationary: 11,292ndTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 18,515thMost Pro-Market: 29,189th
Top
5%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Armed: 4th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 4th in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionMost Cultured: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionFattest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionMost Avoided: 5th in the region

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