by Max Barry

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Wysteria



Population35.123 billion

CapitalFull City
LeaderGeneralissimo Barista Espresso

AnimalSchrodingers Cat

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, unlimited-speed roads, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 35.123 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 30,473 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 867,611 Cuppas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,308,828 per year while the poor average 62,349, a ratio of 85.1 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 44th in the world and 2nd in Wysteria for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 20,760.61 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7thHighest Disposable Incomes: 7thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 8thHighest Economic Output: 10thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 14thMost Scientifically Advanced: 14thLargest Insurance Industry: 16thHighest Average Incomes: 18thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18thSmartest Citizens: 18thMost Avoided: 22ndLargest Populations: 23rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 29thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 32ndFattest Citizens: 35thLargest Mining Sector: 38thMost Armed: 40thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 41stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 44thLargest Gambling Industry: 44thRudest Citizens: 55thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 65thLargest Publishing Industry: 69thHighest Crime Rates: 70thMost Secular: 92ndMost Cultured: 123rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 126thLargest Retail Industry: 142ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 425thMost Corrupt Governments: 588thMost Rebellious Youth: 824thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 1,726thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,911thLargest Black Market: 2,579thMost Influential: 5,379thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6,189thMost Pro-Market: 7,628th
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 5th in the regionMost Cultured: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the region

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