The Federation of Koljonselka Lake is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 947 million Koljonselka Lakeans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 61.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Koljonselka Lakean economy, worth 65.7 trillion gambles a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 69,354 gambles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Old folks reminisce about the last time someone was acquitted of a crime, flatulent people are left to die of cancer at the end of hospital waiting lists, cold medicines curiously become cheaper when government officials sneeze, and prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koljonselka Lake's national animal is the gamble, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Koljonselka Lake is ranked 200,350^th in the world and 140^th in Lakes in Finland for Most Secular, with 15.95 Atheism Rate.