The Theocracy of Kolkanstan is a huge, cultured nation, notable for its compulsory military service, ubiquitous missile silos, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 202 million Kolkanstanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 46.1%.

The Kolkanstanian economy, worth 9.29 trillion Diners a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Cheese Exports, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 46,000 Diners , and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Children keel over while singing "Leader Gives Us the Water of Life", injured workers are encouraged to 'stitch themselves up with their bootstraps', the secret ingredient is love (and MSG), and neighboring nations are tired of Kolkanstan's big fish stories. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kolkanstan's national animal is the Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Kolkanstan is ranked 138,520^th in the world and 58^th in The Apolean Frontiers for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 1,240.57 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.