by Max Barry

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The Rebirthing Nation of Krvava Koupel

“. . .”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Confederation of Corrupt Dictators


Krvava Koupel

Population3.369 billion

LeaderRulevoy Nikolai Lansov


The Rebirthing Nation of Krvava Koupel is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Rulevoy Nikolai Lansov with an iron fist, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, ubiquitous missile silos, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.369 billion Koupelians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of None. The average income tax rate is 73.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Krvava Koupelian economy, worth 677 trillion Nones a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 201,129 Nones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Solid steel breastplates are in fashion amongst city drivers, lifeguards are more concerned with watching for sharks than struggling swimmers, children are encouraged to fail at school so as not to appear too enlightened, and otherwise healthy people are being sent to internment camps because they have VODAIS. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Krvava Koupel's national animal is the None, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Krvava Koupel is ranked 170,643rd in the world and 558th in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Highest Drug Use, scoring 2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 869thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,341stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,421stTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,325thMost Armed: 2,452ndLargest Black Market: 2,534thMost Corrupt Governments: 3,159thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,981stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,083rdMost Influential: 4,601stMost Secular: 4,797thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,935thHighest Poor Incomes: 5,572ndHighest Average Incomes: 5,981stLargest Mining Sector: 6,579thMost Conservative: 7,256thMost Advanced Public Education: 8,103rdMost Developed: 8,512thMost Authoritarian: 8,585thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 11,139thLongest Average Lifespans: 11,809thLowest Crime Rates: 12,792ndLargest Governments: 13,072ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 15,074thHealthiest Citizens: 15,513thSmartest Citizens: 16,850thLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,880th
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 27th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 28th in the regionMost Armed: 29th in the regionTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 38th in the regionLargest Black Market: 39th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 42nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 50th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 50th in the regionMost Developed: 53rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 56th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 57th in the region

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