by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Free Land of Kushinas Parrots

“We acknowledge persimmon as a berry”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Nordic Lands

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Kushinas Parrots

Population2.47 billion

CapitalMentri Maestosu
LeaderIsmo Kullervo Saarinen

Currencydoploon
Animalparrot

The Free Land of Kushinas Parrots is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Ismo Kullervo Saarinen with a fair hand, and notable for its ban on automobiles, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.47 billion Parrotianis enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mentri Maestosu. The average income tax rate is 67.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kushinas Parrotsian economy, worth 408 trillion doploons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 165,262 doploons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Government officials are phoning up good-looking celebrities to say they want to breed with them, the military has gone fission for more funding, student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned parrotball fields, and visiting the best Kushinas Parrotsian restaurants requires keeping a visa on file. Crime is relatively low. Kushinas Parrots's national animal is the parrot, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kushinas Parrots is ranked 310,129th in the world and 220th in Nordic Lands for Nicest Citizens, with 0.82 average smiles per day.

Top
1%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 413thMost Valuable International Artwork: 431stNudest: 634thLargest Retail Industry: 1,796thRudest Citizens: 2,188thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,352ndTop
5%
Best Weather: 4,697thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,797thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,826thLargest Publishing Industry: 11,620thMost Advanced Public Education: 12,159thHighest Poor Incomes: 12,921stHighest Food Quality: 13,699thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 14,826thMost Developed: 15,740thTop
10%
Largest Welfare Programs: 18,256thHighest Average Incomes: 19,487thLongest Average Lifespans: 19,565thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 20,180thMost Subsidized Industry: 20,916thMost Efficient Economies: 22,266thSmartest Citizens: 22,504thMost Cultured: 22,678thLargest Black Market: 22,987thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 23,180thMost Advanced Public Transport: 26,878thLargest Governments: 27,798thMost Inclusive: 28,643rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 33,930th
Top
1%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionNudest: 2nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 2nd in the regionTop
5%
Rudest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Black Market: 7th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 7th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 9th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 9th in the regionBest Weather: 12th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 16th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 18th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 20th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 20th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 21st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 22nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 23rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, visiting the best Kushinas Parrotsian restaurants requires keeping a visa on file.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned parrotball fields.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, the military has gone fission for more funding.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, government officials are phoning up good-looking celebrities to say they want to breed with them.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, the official Kushinas Parrotsian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, the word "sexagenarian" has taken on a whole new meaning.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, for some reason the census focuses on daily banana ingestion and hourly quip rate.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, just as students finish their homework it's time for school.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, the nation's train stations are widely considered to be the ugliest in Nordic Lands.
  • : Following new legislation in Kushinas Parrots, flamethrower-toting soldiers are also equipped with fire blankets and extinguishers.

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