by Max Barry

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The Warzone States of Kyldellian Gilge

“No pain, No gain!”

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Auxiliary

Location: Kylden

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Kyldellian Gilge

Population14.255 billion

CapitalThor City
FaithMorvolox

CurrencyGram
AnimalMonster

The Warzone States of Kyldellian Gilge is a gargantuan, cultured nation, notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, ritual sacrifices, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.255 billion Kyldellians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Law & Order isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thor City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Kyldellian economy, worth an astonishing 11,268 trillion Grams a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 790,470 Grams, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards, disability advocates are not amused that they are told to be dependent on Kyldellians's kindness, and small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kyldellian Gilge's national animal is the Monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Morvolox.

Kyldellian Gilge is ranked 447th in the world and 1st in Kylden for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 20,834.89 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Poor Incomes: 5thMost Subsidized Industry: 12thHighest Average Incomes: 38thLargest Black Market: 50thLargest Publishing Industry: 55thMost Efficient Economies: 60thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 98thMost Armed: 103rdMost Cultured: 107thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 113thLargest Governments: 125thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 134thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 145thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 147thMost Scientifically Advanced: 157thLargest Information Technology Sector: 160thMost Advanced Public Transport: 172ndMost Advanced Public Education: 189thLargest Welfare Programs: 211thMost Rebellious Youth: 213thHighest Crime Rates: 216thHighest Average Tax Rates: 222ndSmartest Citizens: 224thMost Inclusive: 224thRudest Citizens: 245thHighest Economic Output: 310thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 381stLargest Gambling Industry: 408thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 447thMost Devout: 651stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 775thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 895thLargest Retail Industry: 987thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,796thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,877thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,926thTop
5%
Most Developed: 2,112thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,161stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,268thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,379thFattest Citizens: 2,636thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,341stMost Beautiful Environments: 3,912thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,322ndMost Stationary: 4,456thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,807thMost Influential: 10,046thTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 10,759thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,905thLargest Populations: 14,945th
Top
5%
Most Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome.
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, disability advocates are not amused that they are told to be dependent on Kyldellians's kindness.
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards.
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks".
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss.
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares.
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, Leader's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week.
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, preschoolers practice disarming active shooters before naptime.
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts.
  • : Following new legislation in Kyldellian Gilge, dictionary sales have hit an all-time high.

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