by Max Barry

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The Blessed Forests of Kyssers

“tres r bad 4 me :(” Therapist

Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Osiris

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Kyssers

Population6.241 billion

CapitalKyssers City
LeaderTherapist
FaithReneism

CurrencyMilligram of Magnesium
Animallemming

The Blessed Forests of Kyssers is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Therapist with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, smutty television, and daily referendums. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.241 billion downers love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kyssers City. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient dismal economy, worth a remarkable 1,027 trillion Milligrams of Magnesium a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 164,625 Milligrams of Magnesium, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Religious households enthusiastically use whips in private, stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry, student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned lemmingball fields, and decongestants have replaced Milligrams of Magnesium in street transactions. Crime is totally unknown. Kyssers's national animal is the lemming, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Reneism.

Kyssers is ranked 206,250th in the world and 7,732nd in Osiris for Most Avoided, scoring 0.26 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Top
1%
Most Pacifist: 865thBest Weather: 910thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 950thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,102ndNicest Citizens: 1,108thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,131stLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,210thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,374thHealthiest Citizens: 1,424thMost Inclusive: 1,499thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,533rdMost Developed: 1,575thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,629thSafest: 1,669thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,747thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,786thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,906thTop
5%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 2,306thLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,341stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,422ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,923rdSmartest Citizens: 3,227thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,282ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,313thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,314thLargest Governments: 3,477thLowest Crime Rates: 4,044thMost Cultured: 4,987thHighest Poor Incomes: 5,047thMost Secular: 7,304thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,436thTop
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 10,532ndMost Efficient Economies: 11,125thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,366thHighest Economic Output: 16,471st
Top
1%
Most Pacifist: 28th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 33rd in the regionBest Weather: 34th in the regionNicest Citizens: 35th in the regionMost Inclusive: 36th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 38th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 39th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 42nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 45th in the regionMost Developed: 47th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 51st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 56th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 60th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 60th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 72nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 75th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 79th in the regionSafest: 84th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 88th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 96th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 118th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 121st in the regionLargest Governments: 153rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 155th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 159th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 204th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 205th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 219th in the regionMost Cultured: 234th in the regionMost Secular: 329th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Publishing Industry: 393rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 511th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 515th in the regionNudest: 637th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 705th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kyssers's influence in Osiris rose from "Nipper" to "Minnow".
  • : Kyssers was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
  • : Kyssers's influence in Osiris rose from "Newcomer" to "Nipper".
  • : Kyssers's influence in Osiris rose from "Hatchling" to "Newcomer".
  • : Kyssers's influence in Osiris rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : Kyssers's influence in Osiris rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : Kyssers was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, Largest Information Technology Sector, Most Advanced Public Education, and Highest Average Tax Rates and the Top 5% for Most Efficient Economies.
  • : Kyssers was refounded in Osiris.
  • : Kyssers ceased to exist in Qiama.
  • : Kyssers was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Economic Output.

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