by Max Barry

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Spotlight on:

National Flag

The Flocks of Lamatia

“Feliz Navidad”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Gypsy Lands

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Lamatia

Population4.585 billion

CapitalHope
LeaderChief Michael
FaithLamatian Orthodoxy

Currencybottle cap
Animalhedgehog

The Flocks of Lamatia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Chief Michael with a fair hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 4.585 billion Lamatians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is effectively ruled by the Department of Spirituality, although Industry is also considered important, while Education and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hope. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 21.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Lamatian economy, worth 354 trillion bottle caps a year, is highly specialized and led by the Soda Sales industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Retail, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 77,228 bottle caps, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 237,724 per year while the poor average 19,381, a ratio of 12.3 to 1.

Waste is frequently shipped to other countries, modern Lamatian art is so hot right now, most people suffer from some form of hearing loss, and Lamatia is suspiciously populated compared to its neighbors. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Lamatia's national animal is the hedgehog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Lamatian Orthodoxy.

Lamatia is ranked 66,646th in the world and 25th in Gypsy Lands for Most Beautiful Environments, with 638.63 pounds of wildlife per square mile.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 106thHighest Drug Use: 116thMost Ignorant Citizens: 166thMost Devout: 218thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 253rdHighest Crime Rates: 285thFattest Citizens: 367thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 395thMost Armed: 401stMost Avoided: 586thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 685thRudest Citizens: 916thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,418thTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 7,104thMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,835thTop
10%
Largest Retail Industry: 16,711thLargest Black Market: 22,793rd
Top
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, Lamatia is suspiciously populated compared to its neighbors.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, most people suffer from some form of hearing loss.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, modern Lamatian art is so hot right now.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, waste is frequently shipped to other countries.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, a performance of the hit musical "Mamma Tua" has been delayed after squatters were found sleeping in the orchestra pit.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, people have to sneak out of the country in order to have sex.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, schools offer a range of lessons in subjects as diverse as The Economics of Bullying for Lunch Money.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, it is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, lonely people are supposed to be cheered up by the many parties that they are never invited to.
  • : Following new legislation in Lamatia, eminent domain has been abolished.

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