The United States of Lastolana is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Arno Schmidt with an even hand, and renowned for its digital currency, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate population of 1.2 billion Lastoes have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of City of Doug Jones. The average income tax rate is 31.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Lastolanan economy, worth 49.2 trillion National Currencies a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Basket Weaving, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 41,009 National Currencies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Evenings at university debating societies often end with everyone acknowledging both sides may well be right, the new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?", citizens must have a license to operate a computer, and wildlife have trouble navigating the electric fences surrounding national forests. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lastolana's national animal is the Axolotl, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Lastolana is ranked 71,807^th in the world and 392^nd in The Leftist Assembly for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.32 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.