by Max Barry

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Spotlight on:

National Flag

The Holy Pātissier of Linguiniland

“Marshmallow?” Princess Turdina

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific



Population3.389 billion

LeaderPrincess Turdina

CurrencyDragon Scales
AnimalPink Fairy Armadillo

The Holy Pātissier of Linguiniland is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Princess Turdina with a fair hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.389 billion Linguinilandians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mewni. The average income tax rate is 81.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Linguinilandian economy, worth 455 trillion Dragon Scaleses a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 134,517 Dragon Scaleses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

'To Regulate And Beyond' is the unofficial motto of the Linguinilandian Space Agency, the government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, economists claim no news is good news, and mandatory neutering has made purebred dogs a thing of the past. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Linguiniland's national animal is the Pink Fairy Armadillo, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Aupheliaism.

Linguiniland is ranked 20,083rd in the world and 509th in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 4,315.32 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 359thMost Influential: 641stTop
Safest: 5,643rdMost Inclusive: 6,026thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6,636thTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 8,279thMost Developed: 8,567thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,577thMost Efficient Economies: 9,065thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,890thLargest Information Technology Sector: 10,346thMost Pacifist: 10,491stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,780thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,902ndSmartest Citizens: 10,954thMost Advanced Public Education: 11,127thMost Scientifically Advanced: 11,196thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 11,311thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,554thLargest Governments: 11,652ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 11,902ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12,096thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 12,102ndMost Cultured: 12,743rdLargest Retail Industry: 12,978thMost Beautiful Environments: 13,196thLowest Crime Rates: 13,555thMost Compassionate Citizens: 13,684thNicest Citizens: 14,379thHealthiest Citizens: 14,798th
Most Influential: 33rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 52nd in the regionTop
Safest: 181st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 195th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 196th in the regionMost Inclusive: 220th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 241st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 252nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 271st in the regionMost Developed: 272nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 290th in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 309th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 311th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 313th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 317th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 329th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 332nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 349th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 350th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 354th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 362nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 364th in the regionMost Cultured: 371st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 376th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 392nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 402nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 415th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 421st in the regionRudest Citizens: 425th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 476th in the regionMost Stationary: 479th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 490th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 505th in the regionNicest Citizens: 509th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 509th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 565th in the regionBest Weather: 567th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 252 » Erinor, Pencil Sharpeners 2, Curlyhoward, Quiescent, Farengeto, Kringalia, Tsunamy, Sandaoguo, Belschaft, Havenfell, Drugged Monkeys, The Solar System Scope, Kiasu-ism, Darakin, Sanden, Theorin, Luddinlande, Kholdan, Cypheri, Soem, Lambdaland, Seliyan progressive Islands, WTP All the good names are taken, Bear Connors Paradiso, Ancient Slobovia, Transtemporal Shifts, Aidenfieeld, Jehenna, Three Rivia Levr, GI-Land, FreeFishers, The Two Jerseys, Centristvill, Dylar, Tsvetania, Nothanksbutseriously, Oxsania, Hanguk-Nippon, Rebel-topia, Lotadia, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Bod Wareenaland, Outer Utonixick Gollinican, The United Expanse, Pamela And Hepatitis, The naked people, Wyatonians, North Anatnom, Aywhyou, Commonwealth Of Astoria, and 202 others.Paenoa, Freedwanda, Wese Zippopiteradgil, Uncastania, Southern Numenor, Utondara, Lost And Found, PASTIR, Bentwaters, Kobehia, Ridehale, Khazadine, Holy Chimerland, Drystar, Nowa Europa, Angevin Britannia, Trelatche, Spazzhole, Poopisiya, Yellunstryer, Iristead, Qaweritoyu, Blahblah2017, Walloonia, Prefesia, Calistan, Antarctic Empires, Escevola, Gymnostan, Ufask, Seanadia, Farelonia, Phillius, Lightmare, St Oaks, Janapuri, Brendleton, Center Lisle, La Ascension, Si-topia, Vincent Field, Volaworand, Sedunn, Concrete Slab, Moreana, Asdfghuiop, Techganet, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, Factorim, Catalunya Unida, Teachian, Paranoia, Rhetiaa, Fighting Kawi Ninja, Kerlodia, Nova Montron, Madhonia, Democratic Parndia, Silberne Wache, Japanese Federal Republic, Avalonica, Runsiya, City States Nation, KIROVET, Sthalrim, Saciu, Mantas Meow, RestartAll, The ColdWyvernian Undead, Lumpov Hasch, Naphina, Barabarom, New Briantown, Jaxon, Republic Archi, Eastern Nyan, Great Andora, Sagada, Pax Dracon, Aumeltopia, Beepee, The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp, Abarri, UnShleepd, Elveka, Aguatania, Lester Crest, Towi Lamia, The National Corporation, Isokenzar, Anachronolandia, East India Kompany, Awjan, Spearos, Lorora3, Seldon and the Psychohistorians, United Qwebland, Potion Seller, USNE2018, Choodox, Esfalsa, Republitank, Lulliland, Cuuldere, Rascium, Whimichy, Dalklo Bayer, Rabbitz, Kandorith, SHAYTAN UKHIROSS, Phanama, Herbert Island, Pulaski Republic, Natcatjojo, Darbor, The Filippinas, The Libertarian Nation of Songrandine, Qvait, Zess, Uncomfortable nooks and crannies, Amerion, Land Without Shrimp, North Erfton, Nankyoku Tairiku, Akindom, Ariankido, Freedoom, State of Iowa, Federated Kingdoms of Brittania, North Prarie, Jahass, Ostanasia, Academy of Umbrellas, Wehraboos, Crystal Creation, Republic Clovakh, North Catimestistrianes, Amutien, The Brand New Salvatagard Republic, Mechanocs, Dasko, Floofoland, Maeiland, Aurcania, Pays de Loire, Agalaesia, FiHami, Sesteran, Changolandia, Churumduul, Viertes deutsches Koalitionsreich, Staubsaugen, Qawe, British Nations, Milvands, Upper Tyrconnel, Aveerya, Mew Nation, Beegees, PenguinPies, Wild Space, Great Africans, Naam, P R of China, World United, Negoshi, Hyypia, Lakalvesoman, The West Valley Mountains, Oceanfront, United Federated States of Omega, Srevana, Ttyxious, Laropsa, Blaash, Miltonville, Bomamani, Jennaterra, The Sk8ing Unicorn, Bedain, Oreo States, BootJack, Ave Gloriana, Grand Kingdom of Zilean Empire, Kuddles, Great Allabre, Ketathinamiri Islands, The Iron Marauders, Imperial Duck, Ratoninburg, Solega, Higash, A leftover country, Pterotopolis, Cockatooland, Fasire, Risen Africa, Omiri, Outer Zania, Pelland, Ruvonia, and Blissfullton.

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