by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Holy Pātissier of Linguiniland

“Marshmallow?” Princess Turdina

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific



Population5.774 billion

LeaderPrincess Turdina

CurrencyDragon Scales
AnimalPink Fairy Armadillo

The Holy Pātissier of Linguiniland is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Princess Turdina with a fair hand, and notable for its frequent executions, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.774 billion Linguinilandians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mewni. The average income tax rate is 86.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Linguinilandian economy, worth 758 trillion Dragon Scaleses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 131,362 Dragon Scaleses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A degree in Princess Turdina Science with a Minor in Awesomeology starts many political careers, pop sensation "Jack and the Holograms" is storming the charts, employers are never quite sure if graduates' qualifications have any merit or meaning, and government theft from poor artists to give to rich allies has been dubbed the "reverse Robin Hood" policy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Linguiniland's national animal is the Pink Fairy Armadillo, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Aupheliaism.

Linguiniland is ranked 96,177th in the world and 3,704th in the South Pacific for Nudest, with 136.75 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 499thMost Influential: 690thTop
Safest: 5,573rdMost Inclusive: 6,399thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,402ndMost Developed: 8,651stMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,014thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,217thLargest Publishing Industry: 9,520thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,934thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,966thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9,970thHighest Poor Incomes: 10,106thMost Beautiful Environments: 10,157thLargest Information Technology Sector: 10,321stSmartest Citizens: 10,487thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,519thMost Cultured: 10,548thHighest Average Tax Rates: 10,685thTop
Largest Governments: 11,071stLongest Average Lifespans: 11,459thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,656thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 11,690thMost Efficient Economies: 12,061stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 12,285thBest Weather: 12,913thLowest Crime Rates: 13,071stHealthiest Citizens: 14,857thMost Pacifist: 15,238thMost Compassionate Citizens: 15,902ndNicest Citizens: 16,746thMost Stationary: 18,199thHighest Average Incomes: 18,536th
Most Influential: 62nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 82nd in the regionTop
Safest: 199th in the regionMost Inclusive: 224th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 257th in the regionMost Developed: 265th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 274th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 291st in the regionMost Cultured: 294th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 294th in the regionLargest Governments: 300th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 308th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 315th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 318th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 320th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 321st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 324th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 328th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 331st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 332nd in the regionMost Stationary: 344th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 348th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 348th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 359th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 368th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 383rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 384th in the regionTop
Best Weather: 443rd in the regionLargest Populations: 489th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 489th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 530th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 561st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 612th in the regionNicest Citizens: 648th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 658th in the regionMost Pacifist: 660th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 672nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 692nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 747th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 804th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 264 » Erinor, Pencil Sharpeners 2, Curlyhoward, Farengeto, Kringalia, Tsunamy, Sandaoguo, Belschaft, Havenfell, Drugged Monkeys, The Solar System Scope, Kiasu-ism, Darakin, Sanden, Theorin, Luddinlande, Kholdan, Cypheri, Soem, Lambdaland, Seliyan progressive Islands, Bear Connors Paradiso, Ancient Slobovia, Transtemporal Shifts, Aidenfieeld, Jehenna, Three Rivia Levr, GI-Land, FreeFishers, The Two Jerseys, Centristvill, Tsvetania, Oxsania, Hanguk-Nippon, Rebel-topia, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Bod Wareenaland, Outer Utonixick Gollinican, The United Expanse, Pamela And Hepatitis, The naked people, Aywhyou, Wese Zippopiteradgil, Southern Numenor, Utondara, Ridehale, Drystar, Nowa Europa, Angevin Britannia, Trelatche, and 214 others.Spazzhole, Poopisiya, Yellunstryer, Walloonia, Prefesia, Calistan, Antarctic Empires, Escevola, Gymnostan, St Oaks, Center Lisle, Si-topia, Vincent Field, Volaworand, Sedunn, Moreana, Techganet, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, Fighting Kawi Ninja, Nova Montron, Madhonia, Silberne Wache, Japanese Federal Republic, Avalonica, City States Nation, Sthalrim, Saciu, Mantas Meow, RestartAll, Barabarom, New Briantown, Eastern Nyan, Great Andora, Sagada, Pax Dracon, Aumeltopia, Beepee, Abarri, Aguatania, Isokenzar, Potion Seller, USNE2018, Esfalsa, Cuuldere, Rascium, Whimichy, Herbert Island, The Filippinas, Qvait, Amerion, Land Without Shrimp, Wehraboos, Crystal Creation, North Catimestistrianes, Amutien, The Brand New Salvatagard Republic, Dasko, Maeiland, Aurcania, Changolandia, The West Valley Mountains, Blaash, Jennaterra, Oreo States, Grand Kingdom of Zilean Empire, Imperial Duck, A leftover country, Fasire, Omiri, Unidum, Zosnor, Mapico, Los Lonley Boys, Substitute name, Empa Aserium, Fredriecan, Yeldarbsland, Noveos, The Tecorogan Federation, Free Rad, Astraee, The Bereans, Rimandi, Madreia, Corgitopiaa, Nueva Alta California, Bleakfoot, Marstella, Greater Hyrulang, New Marinia, Tiransia, PenguinPies, Soulfulminister, Novaexus, Steampunk Engineers, Bawkie, Terran Draconia, Rly8h, United Crumburrtha Federation, Kandorith, Morlama Nast, Bumblegaria, North Kanuckistan, Holy Free, Ebonhand, Farelonia, Baltenlands, West Pastafaria, InnWorm, Anserisa, Breadandbutter, Sau Man Frescher, Turks of The Eastern Calculus, Springhollow, The Plebeian States, Weryalachiressaraxiatopia, Ralphburg, CzechoSlovakishMoravia, Charloa, Sumalyo, Yavemaya, Weburya, Westerlonia, Zaelith, Kaz Katiestan, ChickenDome, Quh, Kervanosia, Elan Sleazebaganno, Maerist, Jimburna, Hong Kong Kowloon and New Territories, Vardanfel, Compli, Marinho Islands, Dis7Nation, The Worst army of, RussiaSpetsnaz1, Markla, Shefino, Alaninia, Gonrati, Auphelia, Royaltica, Roleca, Laamiva, The Gungan Republic, South Western Korea, LadyRebels, Ucilia, Courletnia, West Fallows, Well F, Aschenburg, Trepsit, The Drakan Republic, Valdutz, Efferalt, Xarbraden, Mincestia, Maximvs Tarvgvs Rex, Myness, Kedjens, Kyroski, Trinennie, Midand, Concrete Slab, NDG, Irrepertus, Vega Naothia, Catillos, Alfama, Lux Umbrat, Ostko, Jazzfrezia, Les Slokovia, Western Fardelshufflestein, Readymade, Terreno Travato, Merevane, Philippinia, The SpaceNeo-Goryeo Etymological Society, Tepertopia, Eutraya, Qawe, Purple Hyacinth, Phanama, Kricivk, Sam Best, Azethian, Canmore, Bartonia Nova, The land of Hades, Venestralia, Island of Great Scoda, Ovkianos, Delian Gol, Drazilazi, Zataras, Kaoia, Klobitien, Ofaria, Itani, SteamPunk Squirrels, Charisma Bonus, Novum Sina, Republic of RIP, Seythennia, Eareamland, Vanbella, Integria, Eskvenn, Salemis Hakem, and Democratic Republic of Sao Paulo.

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