by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Ballon d'Or Excellence of Lionel Andres Messi

“Humble Fortitude Begets Championships”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Page

Location: NationStates

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Lionel Andres Messi

Population19.872 billion

CapitalRosario
LeaderPep Guardiola
FaithAgnostic Pantheism

CurrencyGoal
AnimalAssist

The Ballon d'Or Excellence of Lionel Andres Messi is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Pep Guardiola with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, compulsory military service, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, cynical population of 19.872 billion Lionel Andres Messians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rosario. The average income tax rate is 79.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Lionel Andres Messian economy, worth a remarkable 3,006 trillion Goals a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 151,287 Goals, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Recognizing the Lionel Andres Messian flag qualifies you for citizenship, foreign converts are illuminated by both missionaries and helicopter searchlights, the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust, and all telephone traffic is monitored for 'national security reasons'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lionel Andres Messi's national animal is the Assist, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnostic Pantheism.

Lionel Andres Messi is ranked 65,251st in the world and 256th in NationStates for Rudest Citizens, with 60.81 Insults Per Minute.

Top
1%
Most Stationary: 1,407thTop
5%
Most Compassionate Citizens: 2,469thNicest Citizens: 2,699thMost Inclusive: 3,116thLargest Welfare Programs: 3,945thHighest Economic Output: 4,301stMost Rebellious Youth: 5,504thMost Efficient Economies: 5,510thMost Armed: 6,390thLargest Populations: 6,621stMost Cultured: 6,919thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,947thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,861stMost Subsidized Industry: 8,208thLargest Information Technology Sector: 8,291stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,581stMost Developed: 8,790thMost Beautiful Environments: 10,762ndTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 12,052ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 12,284thMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,356thLongest Average Lifespans: 12,600thLargest Governments: 12,767thHighest Average Incomes: 13,230thMost Scientifically Advanced: 14,795thHighest Average Tax Rates: 14,914thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 15,309thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 15,426thMost Advanced Public Education: 15,618thLargest Retail Industry: 15,684thMost Secular: 15,851stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,205thHealthiest Citizens: 16,306thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 16,431stLowest Crime Rates: 16,570thMost Influential: 16,596thBest Weather: 16,966thHighest Poor Incomes: 17,729thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18,495thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,667th
Top
5%
Most Compassionate Citizens: 18th in the regionNicest Citizens: 20th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 21st in the regionTop
10%
Most Stationary: 29th in the regionMost Inclusive: 37th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, all telephone traffic is monitored for 'national security reasons'.
  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust.
  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, foreign converts are illuminated by both missionaries and helicopter searchlights.
  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, recognizing the Lionel Andres Messian flag qualifies you for citizenship.
  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, school children are forced to sing the national anthem every morning.
  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of.
  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, LAM-SPAN viewership drops as MPs act their age.
  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions.
  • : Lionel Andres Messi was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Beautiful Environments.
  • : Following new legislation in Lionel Andres Messi, the Treasury Minister's valet handles the crass business of public money.

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